Friend wants my recommendation but I don't want to give it to him
I met my friend in my first year of college (Computer Science), so I can tell that I know how well he works and how knowledgeable he is.
He's a good friend, we chat occasionally, meet up to have coffee sometimes and he just told me that he was fired from his company. From what he told me, they didn’t give him that much work and accused him of bad performance, coincidence or not he didn’t like what he was doing and the company itself. He also told me that he didn’t get along with any of his co-workers and missed every single event that the company had organised, for instance the very own kick-off, team building, and more, simply because he didn’t want to go. I think that those events are very important to make a presence and people to know you.
Since he is now sending several CV he told me, a couple of times, that if he's desperate he is counting on me to send his CV to my current company, although I don’t really want to do it. I know he is not very good, from a technical POV, and has some issues getting along with new people. I don’t want to be a terrible friend, but I don’t want to be responsible if he gets the job in my company and fails as my manager would probably blame me and would likely jeopardise my position here.
How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?
Edit: My company currently has an open website with the current job openings listed. Most applicants can use to send their resume but my friend wants me to send it directly
resume relationships employees recommendation-letter referral
New contributor
|
show 6 more comments
I met my friend in my first year of college (Computer Science), so I can tell that I know how well he works and how knowledgeable he is.
He's a good friend, we chat occasionally, meet up to have coffee sometimes and he just told me that he was fired from his company. From what he told me, they didn’t give him that much work and accused him of bad performance, coincidence or not he didn’t like what he was doing and the company itself. He also told me that he didn’t get along with any of his co-workers and missed every single event that the company had organised, for instance the very own kick-off, team building, and more, simply because he didn’t want to go. I think that those events are very important to make a presence and people to know you.
Since he is now sending several CV he told me, a couple of times, that if he's desperate he is counting on me to send his CV to my current company, although I don’t really want to do it. I know he is not very good, from a technical POV, and has some issues getting along with new people. I don’t want to be a terrible friend, but I don’t want to be responsible if he gets the job in my company and fails as my manager would probably blame me and would likely jeopardise my position here.
How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?
Edit: My company currently has an open website with the current job openings listed. Most applicants can use to send their resume but my friend wants me to send it directly
resume relationships employees recommendation-letter referral
New contributor
6
Do your company have any current openings? Can you refer him to the public portal, if your company have one?
– Sourav Ghosh
17 hours ago
2
@SouravGhosh, yes we have a website that you can apply to the open offers.
– Bino
16 hours ago
2
In case you decide to NOT recommend him (which is what i'd suggest), you may want to ask on interpersonal.stackexchange.com on how to best tell it to your friend.
– Scrontch
13 hours ago
2
When I was in college, we all groaned at the prospect of group projects. They told us that soft skills are the most important thing employers look for. I thought that was ridiculous, people can get along enough to get work done contribute to a team, right?? Your friend is the exact example of why soft skills are so valued: He is surely, doesn't participate in anything, doesn't get along with others, and wonders why he is not given work, and then fired? The lack of self-awareness is astounding.
– Issel
10 hours ago
1
Related: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/18484/…
– That Brazilian Guy
10 hours ago
|
show 6 more comments
I met my friend in my first year of college (Computer Science), so I can tell that I know how well he works and how knowledgeable he is.
He's a good friend, we chat occasionally, meet up to have coffee sometimes and he just told me that he was fired from his company. From what he told me, they didn’t give him that much work and accused him of bad performance, coincidence or not he didn’t like what he was doing and the company itself. He also told me that he didn’t get along with any of his co-workers and missed every single event that the company had organised, for instance the very own kick-off, team building, and more, simply because he didn’t want to go. I think that those events are very important to make a presence and people to know you.
Since he is now sending several CV he told me, a couple of times, that if he's desperate he is counting on me to send his CV to my current company, although I don’t really want to do it. I know he is not very good, from a technical POV, and has some issues getting along with new people. I don’t want to be a terrible friend, but I don’t want to be responsible if he gets the job in my company and fails as my manager would probably blame me and would likely jeopardise my position here.
How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?
Edit: My company currently has an open website with the current job openings listed. Most applicants can use to send their resume but my friend wants me to send it directly
resume relationships employees recommendation-letter referral
New contributor
I met my friend in my first year of college (Computer Science), so I can tell that I know how well he works and how knowledgeable he is.
He's a good friend, we chat occasionally, meet up to have coffee sometimes and he just told me that he was fired from his company. From what he told me, they didn’t give him that much work and accused him of bad performance, coincidence or not he didn’t like what he was doing and the company itself. He also told me that he didn’t get along with any of his co-workers and missed every single event that the company had organised, for instance the very own kick-off, team building, and more, simply because he didn’t want to go. I think that those events are very important to make a presence and people to know you.
Since he is now sending several CV he told me, a couple of times, that if he's desperate he is counting on me to send his CV to my current company, although I don’t really want to do it. I know he is not very good, from a technical POV, and has some issues getting along with new people. I don’t want to be a terrible friend, but I don’t want to be responsible if he gets the job in my company and fails as my manager would probably blame me and would likely jeopardise my position here.
How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?
Edit: My company currently has an open website with the current job openings listed. Most applicants can use to send their resume but my friend wants me to send it directly
resume relationships employees recommendation-letter referral
resume relationships employees recommendation-letter referral
New contributor
New contributor
edited 51 mins ago
Peter Chikov
31
31
New contributor
asked 17 hours ago
BinoBino
19926
19926
New contributor
New contributor
6
Do your company have any current openings? Can you refer him to the public portal, if your company have one?
– Sourav Ghosh
17 hours ago
2
@SouravGhosh, yes we have a website that you can apply to the open offers.
– Bino
16 hours ago
2
In case you decide to NOT recommend him (which is what i'd suggest), you may want to ask on interpersonal.stackexchange.com on how to best tell it to your friend.
– Scrontch
13 hours ago
2
When I was in college, we all groaned at the prospect of group projects. They told us that soft skills are the most important thing employers look for. I thought that was ridiculous, people can get along enough to get work done contribute to a team, right?? Your friend is the exact example of why soft skills are so valued: He is surely, doesn't participate in anything, doesn't get along with others, and wonders why he is not given work, and then fired? The lack of self-awareness is astounding.
– Issel
10 hours ago
1
Related: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/18484/…
– That Brazilian Guy
10 hours ago
|
show 6 more comments
6
Do your company have any current openings? Can you refer him to the public portal, if your company have one?
– Sourav Ghosh
17 hours ago
2
@SouravGhosh, yes we have a website that you can apply to the open offers.
– Bino
16 hours ago
2
In case you decide to NOT recommend him (which is what i'd suggest), you may want to ask on interpersonal.stackexchange.com on how to best tell it to your friend.
– Scrontch
13 hours ago
2
When I was in college, we all groaned at the prospect of group projects. They told us that soft skills are the most important thing employers look for. I thought that was ridiculous, people can get along enough to get work done contribute to a team, right?? Your friend is the exact example of why soft skills are so valued: He is surely, doesn't participate in anything, doesn't get along with others, and wonders why he is not given work, and then fired? The lack of self-awareness is astounding.
– Issel
10 hours ago
1
Related: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/18484/…
– That Brazilian Guy
10 hours ago
6
6
Do your company have any current openings? Can you refer him to the public portal, if your company have one?
– Sourav Ghosh
17 hours ago
Do your company have any current openings? Can you refer him to the public portal, if your company have one?
– Sourav Ghosh
17 hours ago
2
2
@SouravGhosh, yes we have a website that you can apply to the open offers.
– Bino
16 hours ago
@SouravGhosh, yes we have a website that you can apply to the open offers.
– Bino
16 hours ago
2
2
In case you decide to NOT recommend him (which is what i'd suggest), you may want to ask on interpersonal.stackexchange.com on how to best tell it to your friend.
– Scrontch
13 hours ago
In case you decide to NOT recommend him (which is what i'd suggest), you may want to ask on interpersonal.stackexchange.com on how to best tell it to your friend.
– Scrontch
13 hours ago
2
2
When I was in college, we all groaned at the prospect of group projects. They told us that soft skills are the most important thing employers look for. I thought that was ridiculous, people can get along enough to get work done contribute to a team, right?? Your friend is the exact example of why soft skills are so valued: He is surely, doesn't participate in anything, doesn't get along with others, and wonders why he is not given work, and then fired? The lack of self-awareness is astounding.
– Issel
10 hours ago
When I was in college, we all groaned at the prospect of group projects. They told us that soft skills are the most important thing employers look for. I thought that was ridiculous, people can get along enough to get work done contribute to a team, right?? Your friend is the exact example of why soft skills are so valued: He is surely, doesn't participate in anything, doesn't get along with others, and wonders why he is not given work, and then fired? The lack of self-awareness is astounding.
– Issel
10 hours ago
1
1
Related: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/18484/…
– That Brazilian Guy
10 hours ago
Related: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/18484/…
– That Brazilian Guy
10 hours ago
|
show 6 more comments
9 Answers
9
active
oldest
votes
I have been in that situation, and not only once, it is definitely an ugly decision to make.
I decided to be open with my friend, and tell him that I don't feel like recommending him as I would only recommend people that I consider to be above average, and sorry, he isn't in my eyes.
It is not necessary to word it that he is generally not above average (even if you think so), you can say 'for the specific role/position this is about'. Also, if the role/position is quite different from your own (or yet unspecific), you have the option to say you wouldn't recommend anyone for that role/position, because you are not qualified to evaluate people for such roles/positions, and the hiring manager would see your recommendation as just that - a friend recommending a friend, without real conviction of his qualities.
In addition, it is ok to forward a resume to the hiring manager 'for info' with the note that you cannot evaluate the person. If you word it right, it doesn't come over as negative recommendation either - just that you don't know how good he is.
97
It's stone cold to tell a friend he's not good enough. Even your judgement is accurate, it would only serve to bring his self esteem down. It's perfectly fine to forward a CV to the recruiter without putting you in a bad spot. You just have to set expectations that your friend might not be selected
– Luffydude
14 hours ago
52
This is a perfect way to lose a friend. So I do not understand how so many people voted up so bad answer.
– BЈовић
14 hours ago
14
@BЈовић, It's pretty easy to say "My friend is looking for a job, here's his info. I can't say if he's a perfect fit or not but he's probably worth a shot." Your friend will never know what you said. They will know they got a callback or an interview and should be grateful for that.
– JPhi1618
14 hours ago
6
@BЈовић honesty is the best thing you can give a friend. If you are good friends they can handle it. Its is also the most difficult way to go though.
– Joel Harkes
13 hours ago
12
@UKMonkey seriously? It's such an incredibly subjective and pompous opinion to have, saying that someone is not good enough.
– Luffydude
12 hours ago
|
show 15 more comments
I don’t want to be responsible if he gets the job in my company and fails as my manager would probably blame me and would likely jeopardise my position here.
If he gets the job, it won't be down to your recommendation. Recommended people still have to go through interviewing and tests etc.. If he makes it through all of these it is likely due to the hiring manager seeing something that you clearly do not. They cannot blame you when they hire someone you recommended.
That's like saying this guy is great he deserves the £60k+ p/y job and that person gets the job, that isn't how it works.
That being said:
How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?
Just tell him that your company does not do recommendations and you have to apply to roles as they are posted. This way you ensure he goes through the entire process or hiring and he can't really have an argument to it because it's just the way the company does it.
15
And it's always a good point to emphasize the difference between a recommendation and a referral. A recommendation means that you think this person is qualified and a good fit for the job. A referral just means that you are passing on their application/resume, but you admit you can't speak to their ability or not.
– David K
17 hours ago
12
Recommended people still have to go through interviewing and tests etc Depends on the company. At my old company, word of mouth was seen as good enough for some positions, developer would have been one of them. I agree thats generally how it should work, but doesn't always.
– Magisch
16 hours ago
1
@Magisch, in my current company we have that scenario. Word of mouth is very strong, and you don't need to the tests. Thanks for the comment Twyxz!
– Bino
16 hours ago
9
"tell him that your company does not do recommendations" may lead to the scenario of the friend getting the job through "normal" means and then finding out that they do, in fact, hire based on recommendations. In which case it will be clear to the friend that OP simply didn't want to recommend them.
– Alexandre Aubrey
14 hours ago
2
"`If he gets the job, it won't be down to your recommendation." This is not necessarily true. At my company if I were to recommend someone for a developer position they would go through a very minimal interview and probably be hired.
– Clonkex
7 hours ago
add a comment |
As you clarified in the comment, your company has a public portal for job applications.
Mention to your friend:
We have this job portal and we're encouraged to inform any potential employee to check for the openings and apply online. This way, the process is smoother and unbiased. I'll send you the link, please let me know if you need any help / clarification in accessing that website.
This way, it's a win-win,
- You don't need to associate yourself with the application or the recruitment process, so whatever happens with the applicant (hired or not), will not be referred back to you.
- You will have your friend also happy.
Think it in this way: Whether you like it or not, your friend can still apply and get a job in your organization from using the very same portal. in this scenario, you're the one only "providing" him/her with the info (which he/she could have anyways found if they checked the company website, maybe), so you're still in the "good-book".
If your hiring process is like the on at my company, there's an opportunity after you've got the job to name an employee who told you about the position, so that they get the referral bonus. If that's the case it works even better: if they don't get hired, nobody knows you were involved, but if they do, then you get the credit.
– anaximander
14 hours ago
1
This is the correct answer in my opinion. Whenever in this situation, tell the friend to submit the CV themselves. They can even mention that they know you if they want to at some point. If your employer asks you about your friend, you can talk about their personal qualities but simply state that you haven't worked enough with him to evaluate his professional skills.
– Jonast92
13 hours ago
What if the friend persists on nepotism?
– testing
13 hours ago
it's also been pointed out in comments that word-of-mouth is highly valued in the hiring process. If the friend gets hired through the portal and realizes this, it will be clear to him that "go fill the form" is equivalent to "I didn't want to recommend you".
– Alexandre Aubrey
12 hours ago
add a comment |
reading the question it's not clear to me if the request is about a recomendation letter or a simple CV delivery.
if the latter, that's something not unusual that hiring managers are aware of.
you can take the CV saying something like:
hi hiring manager, here is another CV. please don't take this as an endorsement, it's just a friend that asked me to take the CV.
this happened to me a couple of times; not sure if can be relevant but the context is western europe
add a comment |
As you've pointed out in the comments of other answers, your company has a public portal for job applications but word-of-mouth and recommendations go a long ways in the application process.
"Word of mouth is very strong, and you don't need to the tests."
This complicates things, because a recommendation from you may very well lead to a hiring decision that would be blamed on you later rather than on a recruitment team.
It further complicates things because if you point him towards the application portal with the claim your company doesn't do recommendations, he may get the job through the portal and it won't take him long to learn that the company does in fact value word-of-mouth recommendations. It doesn't take a genius to figure out at that point that you never wanted to recommend him.
The best solution is to tell him you'll pass his resume along, and make it clear to your supervisor that this is a referral, not a recommendation.
something along the lines of
Hi Mr. Boss, someone I know is looking for a job... I've never worked with him as a colleague so I can't attest to whether or not he'd be a good fit here but he asked me to drop off his resume.
It's a way to keep your friend happy and make sure the hiring decision isn't based on your input.
He can sidestep the second complication by not mentioning recommendations and simply encouraging him to go through the portal. If he gets hired and finds out about the culture Bino can give an excuse like "I believe in merits not recommendations so I do not give recommendations to anyone." or "I prefer a level playing field so we get the best candidate for the job, which since you got it means you were the best." to mitigate any fallout.
– Anketam
7 hours ago
add a comment |
Tell him you don't do recommendations as a general rule.
If he asks why, just say you don't like to be held responsible for other people, especially not friends.
It might be a white lie if you do in fact do recommendations but:
- You won't damage your rep with the company because you haven't recommended him.
- You won't damage your relation with him because you haven't made it personal.
There is no reason to lie to your friend. There are many better approaches on this very page that don't require lying, so this gets my downvote.
– Wildcard
7 hours ago
add a comment |
"Friend wants my recommendation but I don't want to"
"How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?"
I would help your friend do some introspection, in a way that protects you and helps him take inventory of what he offers:
"Dear Enrique Iglesias, of course I am happy to help you. My company is very strict when hiring new developers, even more when they come from internal channels. The best way to make sure you make an impression is to carefully match your past work and achievements for the specific position you are looking for.
Go on our website, find the role you are interested in and then write a few examples of past achievements in those areas.
Another big requirement is teamwork: it's important for all developers to be social and involved, it's a bit of an unwritten rule. In your CV and cover letter you will also need to make examples of how you interacted with your colleague, especially beyond what was required for your main tasks.
Once we have this, I'll be happy to forward it to the hiring manager of the position you are interested in. Anything less than this won't work".
This will help your friend and protect you. All the selling is done by what he writes. Maybe just mention the hiring manager that your friend is very enthusiastic and will discuss in detail what he achieved, and how.
If he still gets hired, it means that he's either qualified, or good enough to pass the dysfunctions of the selection process.
add a comment |
Recommendations are not binary.
Everyone has strengths. Start by identifying your friend's. Build the basis of your recommendation around those. Everyone also has weaknesses. Friends find a way to help friends recognize and work on their weaknesses. This is the ideal time for you to step up and help your friend.
Honesty doesn't have to be brutal. Ideally, honesty will simultaneously serve the interests of you, your company, and your friend.
Let those within your company make the call based upon your balanced assessment, including both the good and the bad, reasonably and fairly presented.
New contributor
add a comment |
As hard as it sounds but generally I recommend you to separate friendship with business.
If it is a very good friend you can help him to get a connection to your company, but you can tell your manager or the recruiter that a friend wanted you to give them his CV.
Whether he wants to or not he has to complete a job interview which he can not skip just because you are friends.
If they are satisfied with him and need someone they will offer him a job, otherwise they won't. Just that easy.
New contributor
add a comment |
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9 Answers
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9 Answers
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I have been in that situation, and not only once, it is definitely an ugly decision to make.
I decided to be open with my friend, and tell him that I don't feel like recommending him as I would only recommend people that I consider to be above average, and sorry, he isn't in my eyes.
It is not necessary to word it that he is generally not above average (even if you think so), you can say 'for the specific role/position this is about'. Also, if the role/position is quite different from your own (or yet unspecific), you have the option to say you wouldn't recommend anyone for that role/position, because you are not qualified to evaluate people for such roles/positions, and the hiring manager would see your recommendation as just that - a friend recommending a friend, without real conviction of his qualities.
In addition, it is ok to forward a resume to the hiring manager 'for info' with the note that you cannot evaluate the person. If you word it right, it doesn't come over as negative recommendation either - just that you don't know how good he is.
97
It's stone cold to tell a friend he's not good enough. Even your judgement is accurate, it would only serve to bring his self esteem down. It's perfectly fine to forward a CV to the recruiter without putting you in a bad spot. You just have to set expectations that your friend might not be selected
– Luffydude
14 hours ago
52
This is a perfect way to lose a friend. So I do not understand how so many people voted up so bad answer.
– BЈовић
14 hours ago
14
@BЈовић, It's pretty easy to say "My friend is looking for a job, here's his info. I can't say if he's a perfect fit or not but he's probably worth a shot." Your friend will never know what you said. They will know they got a callback or an interview and should be grateful for that.
– JPhi1618
14 hours ago
6
@BЈовић honesty is the best thing you can give a friend. If you are good friends they can handle it. Its is also the most difficult way to go though.
– Joel Harkes
13 hours ago
12
@UKMonkey seriously? It's such an incredibly subjective and pompous opinion to have, saying that someone is not good enough.
– Luffydude
12 hours ago
|
show 15 more comments
I have been in that situation, and not only once, it is definitely an ugly decision to make.
I decided to be open with my friend, and tell him that I don't feel like recommending him as I would only recommend people that I consider to be above average, and sorry, he isn't in my eyes.
It is not necessary to word it that he is generally not above average (even if you think so), you can say 'for the specific role/position this is about'. Also, if the role/position is quite different from your own (or yet unspecific), you have the option to say you wouldn't recommend anyone for that role/position, because you are not qualified to evaluate people for such roles/positions, and the hiring manager would see your recommendation as just that - a friend recommending a friend, without real conviction of his qualities.
In addition, it is ok to forward a resume to the hiring manager 'for info' with the note that you cannot evaluate the person. If you word it right, it doesn't come over as negative recommendation either - just that you don't know how good he is.
97
It's stone cold to tell a friend he's not good enough. Even your judgement is accurate, it would only serve to bring his self esteem down. It's perfectly fine to forward a CV to the recruiter without putting you in a bad spot. You just have to set expectations that your friend might not be selected
– Luffydude
14 hours ago
52
This is a perfect way to lose a friend. So I do not understand how so many people voted up so bad answer.
– BЈовић
14 hours ago
14
@BЈовић, It's pretty easy to say "My friend is looking for a job, here's his info. I can't say if he's a perfect fit or not but he's probably worth a shot." Your friend will never know what you said. They will know they got a callback or an interview and should be grateful for that.
– JPhi1618
14 hours ago
6
@BЈовић honesty is the best thing you can give a friend. If you are good friends they can handle it. Its is also the most difficult way to go though.
– Joel Harkes
13 hours ago
12
@UKMonkey seriously? It's such an incredibly subjective and pompous opinion to have, saying that someone is not good enough.
– Luffydude
12 hours ago
|
show 15 more comments
I have been in that situation, and not only once, it is definitely an ugly decision to make.
I decided to be open with my friend, and tell him that I don't feel like recommending him as I would only recommend people that I consider to be above average, and sorry, he isn't in my eyes.
It is not necessary to word it that he is generally not above average (even if you think so), you can say 'for the specific role/position this is about'. Also, if the role/position is quite different from your own (or yet unspecific), you have the option to say you wouldn't recommend anyone for that role/position, because you are not qualified to evaluate people for such roles/positions, and the hiring manager would see your recommendation as just that - a friend recommending a friend, without real conviction of his qualities.
In addition, it is ok to forward a resume to the hiring manager 'for info' with the note that you cannot evaluate the person. If you word it right, it doesn't come over as negative recommendation either - just that you don't know how good he is.
I have been in that situation, and not only once, it is definitely an ugly decision to make.
I decided to be open with my friend, and tell him that I don't feel like recommending him as I would only recommend people that I consider to be above average, and sorry, he isn't in my eyes.
It is not necessary to word it that he is generally not above average (even if you think so), you can say 'for the specific role/position this is about'. Also, if the role/position is quite different from your own (or yet unspecific), you have the option to say you wouldn't recommend anyone for that role/position, because you are not qualified to evaluate people for such roles/positions, and the hiring manager would see your recommendation as just that - a friend recommending a friend, without real conviction of his qualities.
In addition, it is ok to forward a resume to the hiring manager 'for info' with the note that you cannot evaluate the person. If you word it right, it doesn't come over as negative recommendation either - just that you don't know how good he is.
answered 17 hours ago
AganjuAganju
1,415411
1,415411
97
It's stone cold to tell a friend he's not good enough. Even your judgement is accurate, it would only serve to bring his self esteem down. It's perfectly fine to forward a CV to the recruiter without putting you in a bad spot. You just have to set expectations that your friend might not be selected
– Luffydude
14 hours ago
52
This is a perfect way to lose a friend. So I do not understand how so many people voted up so bad answer.
– BЈовић
14 hours ago
14
@BЈовић, It's pretty easy to say "My friend is looking for a job, here's his info. I can't say if he's a perfect fit or not but he's probably worth a shot." Your friend will never know what you said. They will know they got a callback or an interview and should be grateful for that.
– JPhi1618
14 hours ago
6
@BЈовић honesty is the best thing you can give a friend. If you are good friends they can handle it. Its is also the most difficult way to go though.
– Joel Harkes
13 hours ago
12
@UKMonkey seriously? It's such an incredibly subjective and pompous opinion to have, saying that someone is not good enough.
– Luffydude
12 hours ago
|
show 15 more comments
97
It's stone cold to tell a friend he's not good enough. Even your judgement is accurate, it would only serve to bring his self esteem down. It's perfectly fine to forward a CV to the recruiter without putting you in a bad spot. You just have to set expectations that your friend might not be selected
– Luffydude
14 hours ago
52
This is a perfect way to lose a friend. So I do not understand how so many people voted up so bad answer.
– BЈовић
14 hours ago
14
@BЈовић, It's pretty easy to say "My friend is looking for a job, here's his info. I can't say if he's a perfect fit or not but he's probably worth a shot." Your friend will never know what you said. They will know they got a callback or an interview and should be grateful for that.
– JPhi1618
14 hours ago
6
@BЈовић honesty is the best thing you can give a friend. If you are good friends they can handle it. Its is also the most difficult way to go though.
– Joel Harkes
13 hours ago
12
@UKMonkey seriously? It's such an incredibly subjective and pompous opinion to have, saying that someone is not good enough.
– Luffydude
12 hours ago
97
97
It's stone cold to tell a friend he's not good enough. Even your judgement is accurate, it would only serve to bring his self esteem down. It's perfectly fine to forward a CV to the recruiter without putting you in a bad spot. You just have to set expectations that your friend might not be selected
– Luffydude
14 hours ago
It's stone cold to tell a friend he's not good enough. Even your judgement is accurate, it would only serve to bring his self esteem down. It's perfectly fine to forward a CV to the recruiter without putting you in a bad spot. You just have to set expectations that your friend might not be selected
– Luffydude
14 hours ago
52
52
This is a perfect way to lose a friend. So I do not understand how so many people voted up so bad answer.
– BЈовић
14 hours ago
This is a perfect way to lose a friend. So I do not understand how so many people voted up so bad answer.
– BЈовић
14 hours ago
14
14
@BЈовић, It's pretty easy to say "My friend is looking for a job, here's his info. I can't say if he's a perfect fit or not but he's probably worth a shot." Your friend will never know what you said. They will know they got a callback or an interview and should be grateful for that.
– JPhi1618
14 hours ago
@BЈовић, It's pretty easy to say "My friend is looking for a job, here's his info. I can't say if he's a perfect fit or not but he's probably worth a shot." Your friend will never know what you said. They will know they got a callback or an interview and should be grateful for that.
– JPhi1618
14 hours ago
6
6
@BЈовић honesty is the best thing you can give a friend. If you are good friends they can handle it. Its is also the most difficult way to go though.
– Joel Harkes
13 hours ago
@BЈовић honesty is the best thing you can give a friend. If you are good friends they can handle it. Its is also the most difficult way to go though.
– Joel Harkes
13 hours ago
12
12
@UKMonkey seriously? It's such an incredibly subjective and pompous opinion to have, saying that someone is not good enough.
– Luffydude
12 hours ago
@UKMonkey seriously? It's such an incredibly subjective and pompous opinion to have, saying that someone is not good enough.
– Luffydude
12 hours ago
|
show 15 more comments
I don’t want to be responsible if he gets the job in my company and fails as my manager would probably blame me and would likely jeopardise my position here.
If he gets the job, it won't be down to your recommendation. Recommended people still have to go through interviewing and tests etc.. If he makes it through all of these it is likely due to the hiring manager seeing something that you clearly do not. They cannot blame you when they hire someone you recommended.
That's like saying this guy is great he deserves the £60k+ p/y job and that person gets the job, that isn't how it works.
That being said:
How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?
Just tell him that your company does not do recommendations and you have to apply to roles as they are posted. This way you ensure he goes through the entire process or hiring and he can't really have an argument to it because it's just the way the company does it.
15
And it's always a good point to emphasize the difference between a recommendation and a referral. A recommendation means that you think this person is qualified and a good fit for the job. A referral just means that you are passing on their application/resume, but you admit you can't speak to their ability or not.
– David K
17 hours ago
12
Recommended people still have to go through interviewing and tests etc Depends on the company. At my old company, word of mouth was seen as good enough for some positions, developer would have been one of them. I agree thats generally how it should work, but doesn't always.
– Magisch
16 hours ago
1
@Magisch, in my current company we have that scenario. Word of mouth is very strong, and you don't need to the tests. Thanks for the comment Twyxz!
– Bino
16 hours ago
9
"tell him that your company does not do recommendations" may lead to the scenario of the friend getting the job through "normal" means and then finding out that they do, in fact, hire based on recommendations. In which case it will be clear to the friend that OP simply didn't want to recommend them.
– Alexandre Aubrey
14 hours ago
2
"`If he gets the job, it won't be down to your recommendation." This is not necessarily true. At my company if I were to recommend someone for a developer position they would go through a very minimal interview and probably be hired.
– Clonkex
7 hours ago
add a comment |
I don’t want to be responsible if he gets the job in my company and fails as my manager would probably blame me and would likely jeopardise my position here.
If he gets the job, it won't be down to your recommendation. Recommended people still have to go through interviewing and tests etc.. If he makes it through all of these it is likely due to the hiring manager seeing something that you clearly do not. They cannot blame you when they hire someone you recommended.
That's like saying this guy is great he deserves the £60k+ p/y job and that person gets the job, that isn't how it works.
That being said:
How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?
Just tell him that your company does not do recommendations and you have to apply to roles as they are posted. This way you ensure he goes through the entire process or hiring and he can't really have an argument to it because it's just the way the company does it.
15
And it's always a good point to emphasize the difference between a recommendation and a referral. A recommendation means that you think this person is qualified and a good fit for the job. A referral just means that you are passing on their application/resume, but you admit you can't speak to their ability or not.
– David K
17 hours ago
12
Recommended people still have to go through interviewing and tests etc Depends on the company. At my old company, word of mouth was seen as good enough for some positions, developer would have been one of them. I agree thats generally how it should work, but doesn't always.
– Magisch
16 hours ago
1
@Magisch, in my current company we have that scenario. Word of mouth is very strong, and you don't need to the tests. Thanks for the comment Twyxz!
– Bino
16 hours ago
9
"tell him that your company does not do recommendations" may lead to the scenario of the friend getting the job through "normal" means and then finding out that they do, in fact, hire based on recommendations. In which case it will be clear to the friend that OP simply didn't want to recommend them.
– Alexandre Aubrey
14 hours ago
2
"`If he gets the job, it won't be down to your recommendation." This is not necessarily true. At my company if I were to recommend someone for a developer position they would go through a very minimal interview and probably be hired.
– Clonkex
7 hours ago
add a comment |
I don’t want to be responsible if he gets the job in my company and fails as my manager would probably blame me and would likely jeopardise my position here.
If he gets the job, it won't be down to your recommendation. Recommended people still have to go through interviewing and tests etc.. If he makes it through all of these it is likely due to the hiring manager seeing something that you clearly do not. They cannot blame you when they hire someone you recommended.
That's like saying this guy is great he deserves the £60k+ p/y job and that person gets the job, that isn't how it works.
That being said:
How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?
Just tell him that your company does not do recommendations and you have to apply to roles as they are posted. This way you ensure he goes through the entire process or hiring and he can't really have an argument to it because it's just the way the company does it.
I don’t want to be responsible if he gets the job in my company and fails as my manager would probably blame me and would likely jeopardise my position here.
If he gets the job, it won't be down to your recommendation. Recommended people still have to go through interviewing and tests etc.. If he makes it through all of these it is likely due to the hiring manager seeing something that you clearly do not. They cannot blame you when they hire someone you recommended.
That's like saying this guy is great he deserves the £60k+ p/y job and that person gets the job, that isn't how it works.
That being said:
How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?
Just tell him that your company does not do recommendations and you have to apply to roles as they are posted. This way you ensure he goes through the entire process or hiring and he can't really have an argument to it because it's just the way the company does it.
answered 17 hours ago
TwyxzTwyxz
13.1k104080
13.1k104080
15
And it's always a good point to emphasize the difference between a recommendation and a referral. A recommendation means that you think this person is qualified and a good fit for the job. A referral just means that you are passing on their application/resume, but you admit you can't speak to their ability or not.
– David K
17 hours ago
12
Recommended people still have to go through interviewing and tests etc Depends on the company. At my old company, word of mouth was seen as good enough for some positions, developer would have been one of them. I agree thats generally how it should work, but doesn't always.
– Magisch
16 hours ago
1
@Magisch, in my current company we have that scenario. Word of mouth is very strong, and you don't need to the tests. Thanks for the comment Twyxz!
– Bino
16 hours ago
9
"tell him that your company does not do recommendations" may lead to the scenario of the friend getting the job through "normal" means and then finding out that they do, in fact, hire based on recommendations. In which case it will be clear to the friend that OP simply didn't want to recommend them.
– Alexandre Aubrey
14 hours ago
2
"`If he gets the job, it won't be down to your recommendation." This is not necessarily true. At my company if I were to recommend someone for a developer position they would go through a very minimal interview and probably be hired.
– Clonkex
7 hours ago
add a comment |
15
And it's always a good point to emphasize the difference between a recommendation and a referral. A recommendation means that you think this person is qualified and a good fit for the job. A referral just means that you are passing on their application/resume, but you admit you can't speak to their ability or not.
– David K
17 hours ago
12
Recommended people still have to go through interviewing and tests etc Depends on the company. At my old company, word of mouth was seen as good enough for some positions, developer would have been one of them. I agree thats generally how it should work, but doesn't always.
– Magisch
16 hours ago
1
@Magisch, in my current company we have that scenario. Word of mouth is very strong, and you don't need to the tests. Thanks for the comment Twyxz!
– Bino
16 hours ago
9
"tell him that your company does not do recommendations" may lead to the scenario of the friend getting the job through "normal" means and then finding out that they do, in fact, hire based on recommendations. In which case it will be clear to the friend that OP simply didn't want to recommend them.
– Alexandre Aubrey
14 hours ago
2
"`If he gets the job, it won't be down to your recommendation." This is not necessarily true. At my company if I were to recommend someone for a developer position they would go through a very minimal interview and probably be hired.
– Clonkex
7 hours ago
15
15
And it's always a good point to emphasize the difference between a recommendation and a referral. A recommendation means that you think this person is qualified and a good fit for the job. A referral just means that you are passing on their application/resume, but you admit you can't speak to their ability or not.
– David K
17 hours ago
And it's always a good point to emphasize the difference between a recommendation and a referral. A recommendation means that you think this person is qualified and a good fit for the job. A referral just means that you are passing on their application/resume, but you admit you can't speak to their ability or not.
– David K
17 hours ago
12
12
Recommended people still have to go through interviewing and tests etc Depends on the company. At my old company, word of mouth was seen as good enough for some positions, developer would have been one of them. I agree thats generally how it should work, but doesn't always.
– Magisch
16 hours ago
Recommended people still have to go through interviewing and tests etc Depends on the company. At my old company, word of mouth was seen as good enough for some positions, developer would have been one of them. I agree thats generally how it should work, but doesn't always.
– Magisch
16 hours ago
1
1
@Magisch, in my current company we have that scenario. Word of mouth is very strong, and you don't need to the tests. Thanks for the comment Twyxz!
– Bino
16 hours ago
@Magisch, in my current company we have that scenario. Word of mouth is very strong, and you don't need to the tests. Thanks for the comment Twyxz!
– Bino
16 hours ago
9
9
"tell him that your company does not do recommendations" may lead to the scenario of the friend getting the job through "normal" means and then finding out that they do, in fact, hire based on recommendations. In which case it will be clear to the friend that OP simply didn't want to recommend them.
– Alexandre Aubrey
14 hours ago
"tell him that your company does not do recommendations" may lead to the scenario of the friend getting the job through "normal" means and then finding out that they do, in fact, hire based on recommendations. In which case it will be clear to the friend that OP simply didn't want to recommend them.
– Alexandre Aubrey
14 hours ago
2
2
"`If he gets the job, it won't be down to your recommendation." This is not necessarily true. At my company if I were to recommend someone for a developer position they would go through a very minimal interview and probably be hired.
– Clonkex
7 hours ago
"`If he gets the job, it won't be down to your recommendation." This is not necessarily true. At my company if I were to recommend someone for a developer position they would go through a very minimal interview and probably be hired.
– Clonkex
7 hours ago
add a comment |
As you clarified in the comment, your company has a public portal for job applications.
Mention to your friend:
We have this job portal and we're encouraged to inform any potential employee to check for the openings and apply online. This way, the process is smoother and unbiased. I'll send you the link, please let me know if you need any help / clarification in accessing that website.
This way, it's a win-win,
- You don't need to associate yourself with the application or the recruitment process, so whatever happens with the applicant (hired or not), will not be referred back to you.
- You will have your friend also happy.
Think it in this way: Whether you like it or not, your friend can still apply and get a job in your organization from using the very same portal. in this scenario, you're the one only "providing" him/her with the info (which he/she could have anyways found if they checked the company website, maybe), so you're still in the "good-book".
If your hiring process is like the on at my company, there's an opportunity after you've got the job to name an employee who told you about the position, so that they get the referral bonus. If that's the case it works even better: if they don't get hired, nobody knows you were involved, but if they do, then you get the credit.
– anaximander
14 hours ago
1
This is the correct answer in my opinion. Whenever in this situation, tell the friend to submit the CV themselves. They can even mention that they know you if they want to at some point. If your employer asks you about your friend, you can talk about their personal qualities but simply state that you haven't worked enough with him to evaluate his professional skills.
– Jonast92
13 hours ago
What if the friend persists on nepotism?
– testing
13 hours ago
it's also been pointed out in comments that word-of-mouth is highly valued in the hiring process. If the friend gets hired through the portal and realizes this, it will be clear to him that "go fill the form" is equivalent to "I didn't want to recommend you".
– Alexandre Aubrey
12 hours ago
add a comment |
As you clarified in the comment, your company has a public portal for job applications.
Mention to your friend:
We have this job portal and we're encouraged to inform any potential employee to check for the openings and apply online. This way, the process is smoother and unbiased. I'll send you the link, please let me know if you need any help / clarification in accessing that website.
This way, it's a win-win,
- You don't need to associate yourself with the application or the recruitment process, so whatever happens with the applicant (hired or not), will not be referred back to you.
- You will have your friend also happy.
Think it in this way: Whether you like it or not, your friend can still apply and get a job in your organization from using the very same portal. in this scenario, you're the one only "providing" him/her with the info (which he/she could have anyways found if they checked the company website, maybe), so you're still in the "good-book".
If your hiring process is like the on at my company, there's an opportunity after you've got the job to name an employee who told you about the position, so that they get the referral bonus. If that's the case it works even better: if they don't get hired, nobody knows you were involved, but if they do, then you get the credit.
– anaximander
14 hours ago
1
This is the correct answer in my opinion. Whenever in this situation, tell the friend to submit the CV themselves. They can even mention that they know you if they want to at some point. If your employer asks you about your friend, you can talk about their personal qualities but simply state that you haven't worked enough with him to evaluate his professional skills.
– Jonast92
13 hours ago
What if the friend persists on nepotism?
– testing
13 hours ago
it's also been pointed out in comments that word-of-mouth is highly valued in the hiring process. If the friend gets hired through the portal and realizes this, it will be clear to him that "go fill the form" is equivalent to "I didn't want to recommend you".
– Alexandre Aubrey
12 hours ago
add a comment |
As you clarified in the comment, your company has a public portal for job applications.
Mention to your friend:
We have this job portal and we're encouraged to inform any potential employee to check for the openings and apply online. This way, the process is smoother and unbiased. I'll send you the link, please let me know if you need any help / clarification in accessing that website.
This way, it's a win-win,
- You don't need to associate yourself with the application or the recruitment process, so whatever happens with the applicant (hired or not), will not be referred back to you.
- You will have your friend also happy.
Think it in this way: Whether you like it or not, your friend can still apply and get a job in your organization from using the very same portal. in this scenario, you're the one only "providing" him/her with the info (which he/she could have anyways found if they checked the company website, maybe), so you're still in the "good-book".
As you clarified in the comment, your company has a public portal for job applications.
Mention to your friend:
We have this job portal and we're encouraged to inform any potential employee to check for the openings and apply online. This way, the process is smoother and unbiased. I'll send you the link, please let me know if you need any help / clarification in accessing that website.
This way, it's a win-win,
- You don't need to associate yourself with the application or the recruitment process, so whatever happens with the applicant (hired or not), will not be referred back to you.
- You will have your friend also happy.
Think it in this way: Whether you like it or not, your friend can still apply and get a job in your organization from using the very same portal. in this scenario, you're the one only "providing" him/her with the info (which he/she could have anyways found if they checked the company website, maybe), so you're still in the "good-book".
answered 15 hours ago
Sourav GhoshSourav Ghosh
6,02632447
6,02632447
If your hiring process is like the on at my company, there's an opportunity after you've got the job to name an employee who told you about the position, so that they get the referral bonus. If that's the case it works even better: if they don't get hired, nobody knows you were involved, but if they do, then you get the credit.
– anaximander
14 hours ago
1
This is the correct answer in my opinion. Whenever in this situation, tell the friend to submit the CV themselves. They can even mention that they know you if they want to at some point. If your employer asks you about your friend, you can talk about their personal qualities but simply state that you haven't worked enough with him to evaluate his professional skills.
– Jonast92
13 hours ago
What if the friend persists on nepotism?
– testing
13 hours ago
it's also been pointed out in comments that word-of-mouth is highly valued in the hiring process. If the friend gets hired through the portal and realizes this, it will be clear to him that "go fill the form" is equivalent to "I didn't want to recommend you".
– Alexandre Aubrey
12 hours ago
add a comment |
If your hiring process is like the on at my company, there's an opportunity after you've got the job to name an employee who told you about the position, so that they get the referral bonus. If that's the case it works even better: if they don't get hired, nobody knows you were involved, but if they do, then you get the credit.
– anaximander
14 hours ago
1
This is the correct answer in my opinion. Whenever in this situation, tell the friend to submit the CV themselves. They can even mention that they know you if they want to at some point. If your employer asks you about your friend, you can talk about their personal qualities but simply state that you haven't worked enough with him to evaluate his professional skills.
– Jonast92
13 hours ago
What if the friend persists on nepotism?
– testing
13 hours ago
it's also been pointed out in comments that word-of-mouth is highly valued in the hiring process. If the friend gets hired through the portal and realizes this, it will be clear to him that "go fill the form" is equivalent to "I didn't want to recommend you".
– Alexandre Aubrey
12 hours ago
If your hiring process is like the on at my company, there's an opportunity after you've got the job to name an employee who told you about the position, so that they get the referral bonus. If that's the case it works even better: if they don't get hired, nobody knows you were involved, but if they do, then you get the credit.
– anaximander
14 hours ago
If your hiring process is like the on at my company, there's an opportunity after you've got the job to name an employee who told you about the position, so that they get the referral bonus. If that's the case it works even better: if they don't get hired, nobody knows you were involved, but if they do, then you get the credit.
– anaximander
14 hours ago
1
1
This is the correct answer in my opinion. Whenever in this situation, tell the friend to submit the CV themselves. They can even mention that they know you if they want to at some point. If your employer asks you about your friend, you can talk about their personal qualities but simply state that you haven't worked enough with him to evaluate his professional skills.
– Jonast92
13 hours ago
This is the correct answer in my opinion. Whenever in this situation, tell the friend to submit the CV themselves. They can even mention that they know you if they want to at some point. If your employer asks you about your friend, you can talk about their personal qualities but simply state that you haven't worked enough with him to evaluate his professional skills.
– Jonast92
13 hours ago
What if the friend persists on nepotism?
– testing
13 hours ago
What if the friend persists on nepotism?
– testing
13 hours ago
it's also been pointed out in comments that word-of-mouth is highly valued in the hiring process. If the friend gets hired through the portal and realizes this, it will be clear to him that "go fill the form" is equivalent to "I didn't want to recommend you".
– Alexandre Aubrey
12 hours ago
it's also been pointed out in comments that word-of-mouth is highly valued in the hiring process. If the friend gets hired through the portal and realizes this, it will be clear to him that "go fill the form" is equivalent to "I didn't want to recommend you".
– Alexandre Aubrey
12 hours ago
add a comment |
reading the question it's not clear to me if the request is about a recomendation letter or a simple CV delivery.
if the latter, that's something not unusual that hiring managers are aware of.
you can take the CV saying something like:
hi hiring manager, here is another CV. please don't take this as an endorsement, it's just a friend that asked me to take the CV.
this happened to me a couple of times; not sure if can be relevant but the context is western europe
add a comment |
reading the question it's not clear to me if the request is about a recomendation letter or a simple CV delivery.
if the latter, that's something not unusual that hiring managers are aware of.
you can take the CV saying something like:
hi hiring manager, here is another CV. please don't take this as an endorsement, it's just a friend that asked me to take the CV.
this happened to me a couple of times; not sure if can be relevant but the context is western europe
add a comment |
reading the question it's not clear to me if the request is about a recomendation letter or a simple CV delivery.
if the latter, that's something not unusual that hiring managers are aware of.
you can take the CV saying something like:
hi hiring manager, here is another CV. please don't take this as an endorsement, it's just a friend that asked me to take the CV.
this happened to me a couple of times; not sure if can be relevant but the context is western europe
reading the question it's not clear to me if the request is about a recomendation letter or a simple CV delivery.
if the latter, that's something not unusual that hiring managers are aware of.
you can take the CV saying something like:
hi hiring manager, here is another CV. please don't take this as an endorsement, it's just a friend that asked me to take the CV.
this happened to me a couple of times; not sure if can be relevant but the context is western europe
edited 14 hours ago
answered 14 hours ago
PaoloPaolo
1,4401512
1,4401512
add a comment |
add a comment |
As you've pointed out in the comments of other answers, your company has a public portal for job applications but word-of-mouth and recommendations go a long ways in the application process.
"Word of mouth is very strong, and you don't need to the tests."
This complicates things, because a recommendation from you may very well lead to a hiring decision that would be blamed on you later rather than on a recruitment team.
It further complicates things because if you point him towards the application portal with the claim your company doesn't do recommendations, he may get the job through the portal and it won't take him long to learn that the company does in fact value word-of-mouth recommendations. It doesn't take a genius to figure out at that point that you never wanted to recommend him.
The best solution is to tell him you'll pass his resume along, and make it clear to your supervisor that this is a referral, not a recommendation.
something along the lines of
Hi Mr. Boss, someone I know is looking for a job... I've never worked with him as a colleague so I can't attest to whether or not he'd be a good fit here but he asked me to drop off his resume.
It's a way to keep your friend happy and make sure the hiring decision isn't based on your input.
He can sidestep the second complication by not mentioning recommendations and simply encouraging him to go through the portal. If he gets hired and finds out about the culture Bino can give an excuse like "I believe in merits not recommendations so I do not give recommendations to anyone." or "I prefer a level playing field so we get the best candidate for the job, which since you got it means you were the best." to mitigate any fallout.
– Anketam
7 hours ago
add a comment |
As you've pointed out in the comments of other answers, your company has a public portal for job applications but word-of-mouth and recommendations go a long ways in the application process.
"Word of mouth is very strong, and you don't need to the tests."
This complicates things, because a recommendation from you may very well lead to a hiring decision that would be blamed on you later rather than on a recruitment team.
It further complicates things because if you point him towards the application portal with the claim your company doesn't do recommendations, he may get the job through the portal and it won't take him long to learn that the company does in fact value word-of-mouth recommendations. It doesn't take a genius to figure out at that point that you never wanted to recommend him.
The best solution is to tell him you'll pass his resume along, and make it clear to your supervisor that this is a referral, not a recommendation.
something along the lines of
Hi Mr. Boss, someone I know is looking for a job... I've never worked with him as a colleague so I can't attest to whether or not he'd be a good fit here but he asked me to drop off his resume.
It's a way to keep your friend happy and make sure the hiring decision isn't based on your input.
He can sidestep the second complication by not mentioning recommendations and simply encouraging him to go through the portal. If he gets hired and finds out about the culture Bino can give an excuse like "I believe in merits not recommendations so I do not give recommendations to anyone." or "I prefer a level playing field so we get the best candidate for the job, which since you got it means you were the best." to mitigate any fallout.
– Anketam
7 hours ago
add a comment |
As you've pointed out in the comments of other answers, your company has a public portal for job applications but word-of-mouth and recommendations go a long ways in the application process.
"Word of mouth is very strong, and you don't need to the tests."
This complicates things, because a recommendation from you may very well lead to a hiring decision that would be blamed on you later rather than on a recruitment team.
It further complicates things because if you point him towards the application portal with the claim your company doesn't do recommendations, he may get the job through the portal and it won't take him long to learn that the company does in fact value word-of-mouth recommendations. It doesn't take a genius to figure out at that point that you never wanted to recommend him.
The best solution is to tell him you'll pass his resume along, and make it clear to your supervisor that this is a referral, not a recommendation.
something along the lines of
Hi Mr. Boss, someone I know is looking for a job... I've never worked with him as a colleague so I can't attest to whether or not he'd be a good fit here but he asked me to drop off his resume.
It's a way to keep your friend happy and make sure the hiring decision isn't based on your input.
As you've pointed out in the comments of other answers, your company has a public portal for job applications but word-of-mouth and recommendations go a long ways in the application process.
"Word of mouth is very strong, and you don't need to the tests."
This complicates things, because a recommendation from you may very well lead to a hiring decision that would be blamed on you later rather than on a recruitment team.
It further complicates things because if you point him towards the application portal with the claim your company doesn't do recommendations, he may get the job through the portal and it won't take him long to learn that the company does in fact value word-of-mouth recommendations. It doesn't take a genius to figure out at that point that you never wanted to recommend him.
The best solution is to tell him you'll pass his resume along, and make it clear to your supervisor that this is a referral, not a recommendation.
something along the lines of
Hi Mr. Boss, someone I know is looking for a job... I've never worked with him as a colleague so I can't attest to whether or not he'd be a good fit here but he asked me to drop off his resume.
It's a way to keep your friend happy and make sure the hiring decision isn't based on your input.
answered 13 hours ago
Alexandre AubreyAlexandre Aubrey
39419
39419
He can sidestep the second complication by not mentioning recommendations and simply encouraging him to go through the portal. If he gets hired and finds out about the culture Bino can give an excuse like "I believe in merits not recommendations so I do not give recommendations to anyone." or "I prefer a level playing field so we get the best candidate for the job, which since you got it means you were the best." to mitigate any fallout.
– Anketam
7 hours ago
add a comment |
He can sidestep the second complication by not mentioning recommendations and simply encouraging him to go through the portal. If he gets hired and finds out about the culture Bino can give an excuse like "I believe in merits not recommendations so I do not give recommendations to anyone." or "I prefer a level playing field so we get the best candidate for the job, which since you got it means you were the best." to mitigate any fallout.
– Anketam
7 hours ago
He can sidestep the second complication by not mentioning recommendations and simply encouraging him to go through the portal. If he gets hired and finds out about the culture Bino can give an excuse like "I believe in merits not recommendations so I do not give recommendations to anyone." or "I prefer a level playing field so we get the best candidate for the job, which since you got it means you were the best." to mitigate any fallout.
– Anketam
7 hours ago
He can sidestep the second complication by not mentioning recommendations and simply encouraging him to go through the portal. If he gets hired and finds out about the culture Bino can give an excuse like "I believe in merits not recommendations so I do not give recommendations to anyone." or "I prefer a level playing field so we get the best candidate for the job, which since you got it means you were the best." to mitigate any fallout.
– Anketam
7 hours ago
add a comment |
Tell him you don't do recommendations as a general rule.
If he asks why, just say you don't like to be held responsible for other people, especially not friends.
It might be a white lie if you do in fact do recommendations but:
- You won't damage your rep with the company because you haven't recommended him.
- You won't damage your relation with him because you haven't made it personal.
There is no reason to lie to your friend. There are many better approaches on this very page that don't require lying, so this gets my downvote.
– Wildcard
7 hours ago
add a comment |
Tell him you don't do recommendations as a general rule.
If he asks why, just say you don't like to be held responsible for other people, especially not friends.
It might be a white lie if you do in fact do recommendations but:
- You won't damage your rep with the company because you haven't recommended him.
- You won't damage your relation with him because you haven't made it personal.
There is no reason to lie to your friend. There are many better approaches on this very page that don't require lying, so this gets my downvote.
– Wildcard
7 hours ago
add a comment |
Tell him you don't do recommendations as a general rule.
If he asks why, just say you don't like to be held responsible for other people, especially not friends.
It might be a white lie if you do in fact do recommendations but:
- You won't damage your rep with the company because you haven't recommended him.
- You won't damage your relation with him because you haven't made it personal.
Tell him you don't do recommendations as a general rule.
If he asks why, just say you don't like to be held responsible for other people, especially not friends.
It might be a white lie if you do in fact do recommendations but:
- You won't damage your rep with the company because you haven't recommended him.
- You won't damage your relation with him because you haven't made it personal.
edited 14 hours ago
answered 14 hours ago
Jamie ButterworthJamie Butterworth
792
792
There is no reason to lie to your friend. There are many better approaches on this very page that don't require lying, so this gets my downvote.
– Wildcard
7 hours ago
add a comment |
There is no reason to lie to your friend. There are many better approaches on this very page that don't require lying, so this gets my downvote.
– Wildcard
7 hours ago
There is no reason to lie to your friend. There are many better approaches on this very page that don't require lying, so this gets my downvote.
– Wildcard
7 hours ago
There is no reason to lie to your friend. There are many better approaches on this very page that don't require lying, so this gets my downvote.
– Wildcard
7 hours ago
add a comment |
"Friend wants my recommendation but I don't want to"
"How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?"
I would help your friend do some introspection, in a way that protects you and helps him take inventory of what he offers:
"Dear Enrique Iglesias, of course I am happy to help you. My company is very strict when hiring new developers, even more when they come from internal channels. The best way to make sure you make an impression is to carefully match your past work and achievements for the specific position you are looking for.
Go on our website, find the role you are interested in and then write a few examples of past achievements in those areas.
Another big requirement is teamwork: it's important for all developers to be social and involved, it's a bit of an unwritten rule. In your CV and cover letter you will also need to make examples of how you interacted with your colleague, especially beyond what was required for your main tasks.
Once we have this, I'll be happy to forward it to the hiring manager of the position you are interested in. Anything less than this won't work".
This will help your friend and protect you. All the selling is done by what he writes. Maybe just mention the hiring manager that your friend is very enthusiastic and will discuss in detail what he achieved, and how.
If he still gets hired, it means that he's either qualified, or good enough to pass the dysfunctions of the selection process.
add a comment |
"Friend wants my recommendation but I don't want to"
"How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?"
I would help your friend do some introspection, in a way that protects you and helps him take inventory of what he offers:
"Dear Enrique Iglesias, of course I am happy to help you. My company is very strict when hiring new developers, even more when they come from internal channels. The best way to make sure you make an impression is to carefully match your past work and achievements for the specific position you are looking for.
Go on our website, find the role you are interested in and then write a few examples of past achievements in those areas.
Another big requirement is teamwork: it's important for all developers to be social and involved, it's a bit of an unwritten rule. In your CV and cover letter you will also need to make examples of how you interacted with your colleague, especially beyond what was required for your main tasks.
Once we have this, I'll be happy to forward it to the hiring manager of the position you are interested in. Anything less than this won't work".
This will help your friend and protect you. All the selling is done by what he writes. Maybe just mention the hiring manager that your friend is very enthusiastic and will discuss in detail what he achieved, and how.
If he still gets hired, it means that he's either qualified, or good enough to pass the dysfunctions of the selection process.
add a comment |
"Friend wants my recommendation but I don't want to"
"How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?"
I would help your friend do some introspection, in a way that protects you and helps him take inventory of what he offers:
"Dear Enrique Iglesias, of course I am happy to help you. My company is very strict when hiring new developers, even more when they come from internal channels. The best way to make sure you make an impression is to carefully match your past work and achievements for the specific position you are looking for.
Go on our website, find the role you are interested in and then write a few examples of past achievements in those areas.
Another big requirement is teamwork: it's important for all developers to be social and involved, it's a bit of an unwritten rule. In your CV and cover letter you will also need to make examples of how you interacted with your colleague, especially beyond what was required for your main tasks.
Once we have this, I'll be happy to forward it to the hiring manager of the position you are interested in. Anything less than this won't work".
This will help your friend and protect you. All the selling is done by what he writes. Maybe just mention the hiring manager that your friend is very enthusiastic and will discuss in detail what he achieved, and how.
If he still gets hired, it means that he's either qualified, or good enough to pass the dysfunctions of the selection process.
"Friend wants my recommendation but I don't want to"
"How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?"
I would help your friend do some introspection, in a way that protects you and helps him take inventory of what he offers:
"Dear Enrique Iglesias, of course I am happy to help you. My company is very strict when hiring new developers, even more when they come from internal channels. The best way to make sure you make an impression is to carefully match your past work and achievements for the specific position you are looking for.
Go on our website, find the role you are interested in and then write a few examples of past achievements in those areas.
Another big requirement is teamwork: it's important for all developers to be social and involved, it's a bit of an unwritten rule. In your CV and cover letter you will also need to make examples of how you interacted with your colleague, especially beyond what was required for your main tasks.
Once we have this, I'll be happy to forward it to the hiring manager of the position you are interested in. Anything less than this won't work".
This will help your friend and protect you. All the selling is done by what he writes. Maybe just mention the hiring manager that your friend is very enthusiastic and will discuss in detail what he achieved, and how.
If he still gets hired, it means that he's either qualified, or good enough to pass the dysfunctions of the selection process.
answered 15 hours ago
MonoandaleMonoandale
3,31452257
3,31452257
add a comment |
add a comment |
Recommendations are not binary.
Everyone has strengths. Start by identifying your friend's. Build the basis of your recommendation around those. Everyone also has weaknesses. Friends find a way to help friends recognize and work on their weaknesses. This is the ideal time for you to step up and help your friend.
Honesty doesn't have to be brutal. Ideally, honesty will simultaneously serve the interests of you, your company, and your friend.
Let those within your company make the call based upon your balanced assessment, including both the good and the bad, reasonably and fairly presented.
New contributor
add a comment |
Recommendations are not binary.
Everyone has strengths. Start by identifying your friend's. Build the basis of your recommendation around those. Everyone also has weaknesses. Friends find a way to help friends recognize and work on their weaknesses. This is the ideal time for you to step up and help your friend.
Honesty doesn't have to be brutal. Ideally, honesty will simultaneously serve the interests of you, your company, and your friend.
Let those within your company make the call based upon your balanced assessment, including both the good and the bad, reasonably and fairly presented.
New contributor
add a comment |
Recommendations are not binary.
Everyone has strengths. Start by identifying your friend's. Build the basis of your recommendation around those. Everyone also has weaknesses. Friends find a way to help friends recognize and work on their weaknesses. This is the ideal time for you to step up and help your friend.
Honesty doesn't have to be brutal. Ideally, honesty will simultaneously serve the interests of you, your company, and your friend.
Let those within your company make the call based upon your balanced assessment, including both the good and the bad, reasonably and fairly presented.
New contributor
Recommendations are not binary.
Everyone has strengths. Start by identifying your friend's. Build the basis of your recommendation around those. Everyone also has weaknesses. Friends find a way to help friends recognize and work on their weaknesses. This is the ideal time for you to step up and help your friend.
Honesty doesn't have to be brutal. Ideally, honesty will simultaneously serve the interests of you, your company, and your friend.
Let those within your company make the call based upon your balanced assessment, including both the good and the bad, reasonably and fairly presented.
New contributor
New contributor
answered 8 hours ago
kjhugheskjhughes
1113
1113
New contributor
New contributor
add a comment |
add a comment |
As hard as it sounds but generally I recommend you to separate friendship with business.
If it is a very good friend you can help him to get a connection to your company, but you can tell your manager or the recruiter that a friend wanted you to give them his CV.
Whether he wants to or not he has to complete a job interview which he can not skip just because you are friends.
If they are satisfied with him and need someone they will offer him a job, otherwise they won't. Just that easy.
New contributor
add a comment |
As hard as it sounds but generally I recommend you to separate friendship with business.
If it is a very good friend you can help him to get a connection to your company, but you can tell your manager or the recruiter that a friend wanted you to give them his CV.
Whether he wants to or not he has to complete a job interview which he can not skip just because you are friends.
If they are satisfied with him and need someone they will offer him a job, otherwise they won't. Just that easy.
New contributor
add a comment |
As hard as it sounds but generally I recommend you to separate friendship with business.
If it is a very good friend you can help him to get a connection to your company, but you can tell your manager or the recruiter that a friend wanted you to give them his CV.
Whether he wants to or not he has to complete a job interview which he can not skip just because you are friends.
If they are satisfied with him and need someone they will offer him a job, otherwise they won't. Just that easy.
New contributor
As hard as it sounds but generally I recommend you to separate friendship with business.
If it is a very good friend you can help him to get a connection to your company, but you can tell your manager or the recruiter that a friend wanted you to give them his CV.
Whether he wants to or not he has to complete a job interview which he can not skip just because you are friends.
If they are satisfied with him and need someone they will offer him a job, otherwise they won't. Just that easy.
New contributor
New contributor
answered 17 hours ago
ebug38ebug38
91
91
New contributor
New contributor
add a comment |
add a comment |
Bino is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Bino is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Bino is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Bino is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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6
Do your company have any current openings? Can you refer him to the public portal, if your company have one?
– Sourav Ghosh
17 hours ago
2
@SouravGhosh, yes we have a website that you can apply to the open offers.
– Bino
16 hours ago
2
In case you decide to NOT recommend him (which is what i'd suggest), you may want to ask on interpersonal.stackexchange.com on how to best tell it to your friend.
– Scrontch
13 hours ago
2
When I was in college, we all groaned at the prospect of group projects. They told us that soft skills are the most important thing employers look for. I thought that was ridiculous, people can get along enough to get work done contribute to a team, right?? Your friend is the exact example of why soft skills are so valued: He is surely, doesn't participate in anything, doesn't get along with others, and wonders why he is not given work, and then fired? The lack of self-awareness is astounding.
– Issel
10 hours ago
1
Related: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/18484/…
– That Brazilian Guy
10 hours ago