How to convince players to trust me, as the player, after my character got possessed?












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Recently during a session, my wizard was possessed and her personality was changed to to be, as described by the DM, "She's in charge, and doesn't like it when people don't listen to her. She'll do whatever she has to to get her way."



Shortly after, while attempting to play this new role, I demanded my group go down a certain hallway. When someone objected, I cast Charm Person on them successfully. I then said again to go down the hall. This lead to a discussion about me personally just trying to take over and get what I want. I tried to convince them I was just roleplaying, but it seemed that didn't stick.



How can I convince my group to trust me as a player again?



I did talk to the DM, and she tried to help. But the possession happened away from the group (players had no idea), they tried to chalk it up to favoritism. I can't tell them about the possession at the request of the DM.










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  • 2




    $begingroup$
    What game/edition are you playing? For example, are you playing D&D 5e? Note that there are thousands of RPGs out there and we handle questions for all of them here. Some of them have very different ideas about the role of the party, how to roleplay, and expectations surrounding all of this and related issues. So, I think specifying this is going to be important.
    $endgroup$
    – Rubiksmoose
    11 hours ago












  • $begingroup$
    I have edited the question to answer this.
    $endgroup$
    – PiousVenom
    11 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    Alright another request, how exactly did your DM try to help? Knowing this might help to try to guide suggestions (eg answers won't suggest things your DM has already done).
    $endgroup$
    – Rubiksmoose
    10 hours ago








  • 2




    $begingroup$
    Also note that there is no need to mark your edits. Just integrate the edits into your post so they look natural. We have edit history if we want to see what you changed. :)
    $endgroup$
    – Rubiksmoose
    10 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    How many people are in your group? Total, including the DM. How long is the possession scheduled to last?
    $endgroup$
    – KorvinStarmast
    3 hours ago


















8












$begingroup$


Recently during a session, my wizard was possessed and her personality was changed to to be, as described by the DM, "She's in charge, and doesn't like it when people don't listen to her. She'll do whatever she has to to get her way."



Shortly after, while attempting to play this new role, I demanded my group go down a certain hallway. When someone objected, I cast Charm Person on them successfully. I then said again to go down the hall. This lead to a discussion about me personally just trying to take over and get what I want. I tried to convince them I was just roleplaying, but it seemed that didn't stick.



How can I convince my group to trust me as a player again?



I did talk to the DM, and she tried to help. But the possession happened away from the group (players had no idea), they tried to chalk it up to favoritism. I can't tell them about the possession at the request of the DM.










share|improve this question









New contributor




PiousVenom is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.







$endgroup$








  • 2




    $begingroup$
    What game/edition are you playing? For example, are you playing D&D 5e? Note that there are thousands of RPGs out there and we handle questions for all of them here. Some of them have very different ideas about the role of the party, how to roleplay, and expectations surrounding all of this and related issues. So, I think specifying this is going to be important.
    $endgroup$
    – Rubiksmoose
    11 hours ago












  • $begingroup$
    I have edited the question to answer this.
    $endgroup$
    – PiousVenom
    11 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    Alright another request, how exactly did your DM try to help? Knowing this might help to try to guide suggestions (eg answers won't suggest things your DM has already done).
    $endgroup$
    – Rubiksmoose
    10 hours ago








  • 2




    $begingroup$
    Also note that there is no need to mark your edits. Just integrate the edits into your post so they look natural. We have edit history if we want to see what you changed. :)
    $endgroup$
    – Rubiksmoose
    10 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    How many people are in your group? Total, including the DM. How long is the possession scheduled to last?
    $endgroup$
    – KorvinStarmast
    3 hours ago
















8












8








8





$begingroup$


Recently during a session, my wizard was possessed and her personality was changed to to be, as described by the DM, "She's in charge, and doesn't like it when people don't listen to her. She'll do whatever she has to to get her way."



Shortly after, while attempting to play this new role, I demanded my group go down a certain hallway. When someone objected, I cast Charm Person on them successfully. I then said again to go down the hall. This lead to a discussion about me personally just trying to take over and get what I want. I tried to convince them I was just roleplaying, but it seemed that didn't stick.



How can I convince my group to trust me as a player again?



I did talk to the DM, and she tried to help. But the possession happened away from the group (players had no idea), they tried to chalk it up to favoritism. I can't tell them about the possession at the request of the DM.










share|improve this question









New contributor




PiousVenom is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.







$endgroup$




Recently during a session, my wizard was possessed and her personality was changed to to be, as described by the DM, "She's in charge, and doesn't like it when people don't listen to her. She'll do whatever she has to to get her way."



Shortly after, while attempting to play this new role, I demanded my group go down a certain hallway. When someone objected, I cast Charm Person on them successfully. I then said again to go down the hall. This lead to a discussion about me personally just trying to take over and get what I want. I tried to convince them I was just roleplaying, but it seemed that didn't stick.



How can I convince my group to trust me as a player again?



I did talk to the DM, and she tried to help. But the possession happened away from the group (players had no idea), they tried to chalk it up to favoritism. I can't tell them about the possession at the request of the DM.







dnd-5e roleplaying group-dynamics






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edited 10 hours ago









Rubiksmoose

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asked 11 hours ago









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PiousVenom is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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  • 2




    $begingroup$
    What game/edition are you playing? For example, are you playing D&D 5e? Note that there are thousands of RPGs out there and we handle questions for all of them here. Some of them have very different ideas about the role of the party, how to roleplay, and expectations surrounding all of this and related issues. So, I think specifying this is going to be important.
    $endgroup$
    – Rubiksmoose
    11 hours ago












  • $begingroup$
    I have edited the question to answer this.
    $endgroup$
    – PiousVenom
    11 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    Alright another request, how exactly did your DM try to help? Knowing this might help to try to guide suggestions (eg answers won't suggest things your DM has already done).
    $endgroup$
    – Rubiksmoose
    10 hours ago








  • 2




    $begingroup$
    Also note that there is no need to mark your edits. Just integrate the edits into your post so they look natural. We have edit history if we want to see what you changed. :)
    $endgroup$
    – Rubiksmoose
    10 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    How many people are in your group? Total, including the DM. How long is the possession scheduled to last?
    $endgroup$
    – KorvinStarmast
    3 hours ago
















  • 2




    $begingroup$
    What game/edition are you playing? For example, are you playing D&D 5e? Note that there are thousands of RPGs out there and we handle questions for all of them here. Some of them have very different ideas about the role of the party, how to roleplay, and expectations surrounding all of this and related issues. So, I think specifying this is going to be important.
    $endgroup$
    – Rubiksmoose
    11 hours ago












  • $begingroup$
    I have edited the question to answer this.
    $endgroup$
    – PiousVenom
    11 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    Alright another request, how exactly did your DM try to help? Knowing this might help to try to guide suggestions (eg answers won't suggest things your DM has already done).
    $endgroup$
    – Rubiksmoose
    10 hours ago








  • 2




    $begingroup$
    Also note that there is no need to mark your edits. Just integrate the edits into your post so they look natural. We have edit history if we want to see what you changed. :)
    $endgroup$
    – Rubiksmoose
    10 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    How many people are in your group? Total, including the DM. How long is the possession scheduled to last?
    $endgroup$
    – KorvinStarmast
    3 hours ago










2




2




$begingroup$
What game/edition are you playing? For example, are you playing D&D 5e? Note that there are thousands of RPGs out there and we handle questions for all of them here. Some of them have very different ideas about the role of the party, how to roleplay, and expectations surrounding all of this and related issues. So, I think specifying this is going to be important.
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
11 hours ago






$begingroup$
What game/edition are you playing? For example, are you playing D&D 5e? Note that there are thousands of RPGs out there and we handle questions for all of them here. Some of them have very different ideas about the role of the party, how to roleplay, and expectations surrounding all of this and related issues. So, I think specifying this is going to be important.
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
11 hours ago














$begingroup$
I have edited the question to answer this.
$endgroup$
– PiousVenom
11 hours ago




$begingroup$
I have edited the question to answer this.
$endgroup$
– PiousVenom
11 hours ago












$begingroup$
Alright another request, how exactly did your DM try to help? Knowing this might help to try to guide suggestions (eg answers won't suggest things your DM has already done).
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
10 hours ago






$begingroup$
Alright another request, how exactly did your DM try to help? Knowing this might help to try to guide suggestions (eg answers won't suggest things your DM has already done).
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
10 hours ago






2




2




$begingroup$
Also note that there is no need to mark your edits. Just integrate the edits into your post so they look natural. We have edit history if we want to see what you changed. :)
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
10 hours ago




$begingroup$
Also note that there is no need to mark your edits. Just integrate the edits into your post so they look natural. We have edit history if we want to see what you changed. :)
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
10 hours ago












$begingroup$
How many people are in your group? Total, including the DM. How long is the possession scheduled to last?
$endgroup$
– KorvinStarmast
3 hours ago






$begingroup$
How many people are in your group? Total, including the DM. How long is the possession scheduled to last?
$endgroup$
– KorvinStarmast
3 hours ago












6 Answers
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Talk to your DM, ask them to support you



The problem right now is that your players are clearly getting upset that, at least from their perspective, you're a misbehaving player. That's not strictly your fault: your DM has possessed your character, and is forcing them to misbehave. But the players don't know this, and it sounds like they've misinterpreted your attempts to convey this mechanical impact as an extra-diegetic behavioral change on your part. In essence, they've mistakenly come to the conclusion that you're behaving with My Guy Syndrome.



You need your DM to reassure the players that you're properly role-playing your character for the circumstances they are in.



Your DM should consider abandoning the "Surprise Factor" of the possession



If your players remain unconvinced that you're role-playing your character correctly, or are unwilling to play a game where one of their players is actively sabotaging them, then the DM should directly reveal, either through some kind of Deus-ex-GM move or out-of-character, that your character has been possessed, causing them to act weird. Character surprises like this need to be handled delicately, and from the way you've described the situation, it sounds like your DM didn't handle this situation correctly; it might be best to just cut their losses at this point, instead of dragging out the situation to whatever conclusion they were planning and further angering your fellow players in the process.






share|improve this answer











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    Tell the Players!



    Your DM is making a mistake by hiding that you're possessed, and it's causing trouble for you, and, I suspect, causing the opposite effect of what they want.



    The first part is obvious: the DM has put you in a position to do some cool roleplaying, but the rest of the party wasn't ready for this kind of thing to happen.
    Campaigns where a character's actions might be influenced by things other than normal roleplaying need to establish this, in my experience. I DMed Out of the Abyss, which plays largely with the madness mechanic, and caused my players to develop all sorts of fun and weird quirks and flaws. But, I warned them that this might happen beforehand. The characters were unaware, but the players really enjoyed it.



    The DM needs to stand up for you and explain what has happened, to preserve the peace, if nothing else. This will require everyone to properly commit to not metagaming off this information, but that should be standard at any table anyway.



    The second part, though, is where I finally put my liberal arts degree to good use. The DM is going for surprise, but they're doing so at the expense of suspense. Alfred Hitchcock said it best in an interview with French film critic, François Truffaut:




    There is a distinct difference between "suspense" and "surprise," and yet many pictures continually confuse the two. I'll explain what I mean.



    We are now having a very innocent little chat. Let's suppose that there is a bomb underneath this table between us. Nothing happens, and then all of a sudden, "Boom!" There is an explosion. The public is surprised, but prior to this surprise, it has seen an absolutely ordinary scene, of no special consequence. Now, let us take a suspense situation. The bomb is underneath the table and the public knows it, probably because they have seen the anarchist place it there. The public is aware the bomb is going to explode at one o'clock and there is a clock in the decor. The public can see that it is a quarter to one. In these conditions, the same innocuous conversation becomes fascinating because the public is participating in the scene. The audience is longing to warn the characters on the screen: "You shouldn't be talking about such trivial matters. There is a bomb beneath you and it is about to explode!"



    In the first case we have given the public fifteen seconds of surprise at the moment of the explosion. In the second we have provided them with fifteen minutes of suspense. The conclusion is that whenever possible the public must be informed. Except when the surprise is a twist, that is, when the unexpected ending is, in itself, the highlight of the story.




    If the rest of the players know that there is a bomb under the table (a possessed party member), it gives everyone the chance to flex their roleplaying muscles, and can create some excellent suspense, instead of just a brief "gotcha!" moment, after however long the party spends being annoyed with you.



    A Quick Caveat



    All of this assumes that your table has a focus on collaborative storytelling rather than a curated, DM-told story. This will involve a lot of effort from everyone, but if everyone is willing to do it, I think this could be a really exciting twist.



    What Can You Do?



    Well, not a ton, if your DM isn't willing to listen. I'd send them the quote from Hitchcock, since he's got a bit more authority than me, a random poster with a Garfield icon. I'd emphasize the discord this is causing between the players, and that this tension may be hard to resolve. Send them a link to the problem-players tag on here, if they don't believe you; if there's no in-game explanation for this behavior, the number one piece of advice is to talk to the player, then have them leave. (Or advising the annoyed player to leave, if the DM won't deal with it.) You're not doing anything wrong, but the way it's perceived by your fellow players isn't going to end well. The party should feel betrayed by this, not the players.






    share|improve this answer











    $endgroup$













    • $begingroup$
      Where is that Hitchcock quote from? You should cite the source. :)
      $endgroup$
      – V2Blast
      9 hours ago










    • $begingroup$
      @V2Blast I'll see if I can dig up the actual source, since I pulled it off an old college handout!
      $endgroup$
      – L.S. Cooper
      9 hours ago










    • $begingroup$
      This seems to originate from "Hitchcock" by Francois Truffaut. Great find!
      $endgroup$
      – madscientist159
      7 hours ago








    • 1




      $begingroup$
      @V2Blast It is from the book Hitchcock by François Truffaut, sometimes sold as Hitchcock/Truffaut.
      $endgroup$
      – MJ713
      7 hours ago



















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    Your DM has put you in a bad spot and only they can fix it



    Your DM has controlled your character and made you do things you normally wouldn't and that is causing friction in the party. The DM has told you that you are not allowed to tell the party anything about it. If you decide to follow this instruction your only way to get help is through the DM herself.



    Talk to your DM again and make it clear that the position they are putting you in is bad for you as a person, and is putting significant friction between you and the other players.



    The only real options for the DM are to drop hints or outright tell the party what is going on with your player or to just escalate/abandon the surprise reveal entirely.



    DM should start by directly addressing the issue without revealing too much of the twist



    Talk to your DM and be clear that you are very uncomfortable with the real-life consequences of her actions are for you. Ask her to please take the pressure off of you by telling the other players that you are doing this for a reason. For example, she could say "[Other players], please do not blame PiousVenom for their character's actions. I promise you that they are not doing it to spite the party and that there is a very good reason they are doing it." If that doesn't alleviate the issue then the DM should just straight-up tell the others what is going on.



    If that doesn't work, the DM should tell the other players explicitly



    If the players still aren't satisfied with that explanation, and are still upset with you as a player then the DM needs to just come out and tell people what is going on. Keeping a surprise is not worth causing interpersonal issues at the table and no story twist is worth putting one of your players through the wringer beyond what they are comfortable with. Thus, the DM should just tell the players that you are possessed, but ask them to please keep that information out of the game and to play as if they did not know.



    DM could also accelerate the pace of the reveal



    This is not a great option, but if the DM refuses to do either of the two above, it is better than nothing. The DM obviously has some sort of plan for this possession and presumably intends for it to be revealed to the other players at some point. You can request that they accelerate whatever plan they have so that the consequences on your are minimized and you don't have to be in this position for as long.



    Talking is the most important thing for you to do



    No matter what your DM decides, talk with them and then keep talking. If they decide something and it ends up not helping, talk with them again and ask them to try something else. Don't let it go until your issue is resolved and give them honest feedback.



    At the very least, once the reveal happens there is no reason the players shouldn't trust you



    In the case that the DM does nothing more to help you or that nothing they do helps (for whatever reason), you might be stuck in this unfortunate position for a while. However, assuming that you are able to break free eventually, the players should be understanding once you finally reveal the reason. Once they know that the DM was forcing you to do those things, any hostility they have for you should either go away or, at worst, be directed at your DM. Hopefully it doesn't come to this though.






    share|improve this answer









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    • 1




      $begingroup$
      I don't know about that last paragraph. At the very least, the player has shown a willingness to play along with the DM on this kind of thing. Who's to say the DM won't do it again?
      $endgroup$
      – T.E.D.
      8 hours ago










    • $begingroup$
      @T.E.D. I'm not sure I understand what you mean here. Can you explain a bit more?
      $endgroup$
      – Rubiksmoose
      8 hours ago












    • $begingroup$
      @Rubiksmoose PiousVenom would have been willing to play along with the possession and act against the party. Even being released from the possession, both the players and the characters they play are going to be on guard around the wizard in case she's possessed again. Broken trust is not necessarily a bad thing, and can make for a good redemption arc in the hands of a good DM.
      $endgroup$
      – Miles Bedinger
      3 hours ago










    • $begingroup$
      @MilesBedinger they don't really have a choice though do they? It's either do what the DM says, disobey then or quit.
      $endgroup$
      – Rubiksmoose
      2 hours ago










    • $begingroup$
      @Rubiksmoose But as you say, PiousVenom can choose to obey, disobey and deal with the consequences, or quit. By forcing a secret possession, the DM has forced the player to make a choice between obeying the DM and informing her fellow players.
      $endgroup$
      – Miles Bedinger
      2 hours ago





















    1












    $begingroup$

    If the players are thinking you are domineering and obnoxious, instead of just roleplaying, that's a problem. This inability to see the difference between the person and the role is a serious problem that arises in DND games, and any places where an actor plays a role. A player plays a dumb barbarian and gets treated like an idiot away from the game. A player plays a lecherous bard and suddenly gets treated like a pervert outside of the game.



    What went Wrong?



    This is mostly the DM's fault in this situation. Introducing suspicion and intra-party conflict is a valuable tool in storytelling and immersion, but it relies on players being familiar enough with each other to be so immersed as to make assumptions about the players based on their characters.



    Possession is also an effective tool, but it's taking away your ability to role-play how you like and risking the My Guy Syndrome. A good DM should only enforce a possession if the player is comfortable with it.



    Addressing the issue



    Ask the DM to address the group and remind everyone that there's a difference between the character and the player.



    Apologize when your wizard does something you as a person normally wouldn't do. If you think something is a good idea, but your wizard would be against it, make it clear. You're not drawing a line between your wizard pre- and post-possession, you're drawing a line between you and your wizard.



    You might look into talking with your DM about making a wisdom save at certain points to potentially send hints that you're not fully in control. Drawing symbols in your sleep, or fill a diary with the name of the spirit possessing you. Random nosebleeds or bloodshot eyes. Animals could get scared by you. There's plenty of movies about people being possessed and acting funny. Take some inspiration and work with your DM.



    Maybe when your character is raised from zero HP, or enters a church, or some other spiritual situation, you can make a wisdom saving throw to give a less subtle hint. The person nearest you could make a perception check to see a flash of shadowy aura, or get a flash of a different face over yours, or you're constantly whispering the name of the spirit.






    share|improve this answer











    $endgroup$





















      0












      $begingroup$

      You character is now an NPC




      I can't tell them about the possession at the request of the DM.




      If those are the conditions the DM has set, then you need to turn the character over to the DM and roll up another one. Propose that course of action to the DM. If they balk, then ask the DM point blank - "How long is this possession to last?"



      If the answer is not a finite / brief time, then turn the PC over to the DM since it is now either a NPC or a GMPC. You are no longer in charge of the PC. Apparently, your fellow players are too thick to see what is going on, thus your fun suffers.



      Roll up another character.



      Sometimes, you have to call someone else's bluff. This seems to be such a time as regards your DM. That your fellow players do not 'get' what it is that is going on isn't something you can solve, and you have found out that they aren't the kind of group who will get that.



      This answers what to do. Are you willing to let go? You have already lost agency as a player regarding this character. The choice is yours.






      share|improve this answer











      $endgroup$





















        0












        $begingroup$

        I agree with @KorvinStarmast, to a point. If this possession is long turn, your character is an NPC now. You are no longer guiding the character, but just following the DMs agenda.



        If it's short term, then it should not be an issue. But, there should be some hint that your character is "off" or "not himself". Something subtle, but enough for the others to see something is wrong. If such hints are there, any good player will pick up on it and see your not being a jerk, but furthering the plot.



        Talk to your DM and explain that the the players should not be completely in the dark, allowing them to discover that something is driving your character this way. Could make for some interesting role play.






        share|improve this answer








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          6 Answers
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          oldest

          votes









          14












          $begingroup$

          Talk to your DM, ask them to support you



          The problem right now is that your players are clearly getting upset that, at least from their perspective, you're a misbehaving player. That's not strictly your fault: your DM has possessed your character, and is forcing them to misbehave. But the players don't know this, and it sounds like they've misinterpreted your attempts to convey this mechanical impact as an extra-diegetic behavioral change on your part. In essence, they've mistakenly come to the conclusion that you're behaving with My Guy Syndrome.



          You need your DM to reassure the players that you're properly role-playing your character for the circumstances they are in.



          Your DM should consider abandoning the "Surprise Factor" of the possession



          If your players remain unconvinced that you're role-playing your character correctly, or are unwilling to play a game where one of their players is actively sabotaging them, then the DM should directly reveal, either through some kind of Deus-ex-GM move or out-of-character, that your character has been possessed, causing them to act weird. Character surprises like this need to be handled delicately, and from the way you've described the situation, it sounds like your DM didn't handle this situation correctly; it might be best to just cut their losses at this point, instead of dragging out the situation to whatever conclusion they were planning and further angering your fellow players in the process.






          share|improve this answer











          $endgroup$


















            14












            $begingroup$

            Talk to your DM, ask them to support you



            The problem right now is that your players are clearly getting upset that, at least from their perspective, you're a misbehaving player. That's not strictly your fault: your DM has possessed your character, and is forcing them to misbehave. But the players don't know this, and it sounds like they've misinterpreted your attempts to convey this mechanical impact as an extra-diegetic behavioral change on your part. In essence, they've mistakenly come to the conclusion that you're behaving with My Guy Syndrome.



            You need your DM to reassure the players that you're properly role-playing your character for the circumstances they are in.



            Your DM should consider abandoning the "Surprise Factor" of the possession



            If your players remain unconvinced that you're role-playing your character correctly, or are unwilling to play a game where one of their players is actively sabotaging them, then the DM should directly reveal, either through some kind of Deus-ex-GM move or out-of-character, that your character has been possessed, causing them to act weird. Character surprises like this need to be handled delicately, and from the way you've described the situation, it sounds like your DM didn't handle this situation correctly; it might be best to just cut their losses at this point, instead of dragging out the situation to whatever conclusion they were planning and further angering your fellow players in the process.






            share|improve this answer











            $endgroup$
















              14












              14








              14





              $begingroup$

              Talk to your DM, ask them to support you



              The problem right now is that your players are clearly getting upset that, at least from their perspective, you're a misbehaving player. That's not strictly your fault: your DM has possessed your character, and is forcing them to misbehave. But the players don't know this, and it sounds like they've misinterpreted your attempts to convey this mechanical impact as an extra-diegetic behavioral change on your part. In essence, they've mistakenly come to the conclusion that you're behaving with My Guy Syndrome.



              You need your DM to reassure the players that you're properly role-playing your character for the circumstances they are in.



              Your DM should consider abandoning the "Surprise Factor" of the possession



              If your players remain unconvinced that you're role-playing your character correctly, or are unwilling to play a game where one of their players is actively sabotaging them, then the DM should directly reveal, either through some kind of Deus-ex-GM move or out-of-character, that your character has been possessed, causing them to act weird. Character surprises like this need to be handled delicately, and from the way you've described the situation, it sounds like your DM didn't handle this situation correctly; it might be best to just cut their losses at this point, instead of dragging out the situation to whatever conclusion they were planning and further angering your fellow players in the process.






              share|improve this answer











              $endgroup$



              Talk to your DM, ask them to support you



              The problem right now is that your players are clearly getting upset that, at least from their perspective, you're a misbehaving player. That's not strictly your fault: your DM has possessed your character, and is forcing them to misbehave. But the players don't know this, and it sounds like they've misinterpreted your attempts to convey this mechanical impact as an extra-diegetic behavioral change on your part. In essence, they've mistakenly come to the conclusion that you're behaving with My Guy Syndrome.



              You need your DM to reassure the players that you're properly role-playing your character for the circumstances they are in.



              Your DM should consider abandoning the "Surprise Factor" of the possession



              If your players remain unconvinced that you're role-playing your character correctly, or are unwilling to play a game where one of their players is actively sabotaging them, then the DM should directly reveal, either through some kind of Deus-ex-GM move or out-of-character, that your character has been possessed, causing them to act weird. Character surprises like this need to be handled delicately, and from the way you've described the situation, it sounds like your DM didn't handle this situation correctly; it might be best to just cut their losses at this point, instead of dragging out the situation to whatever conclusion they were planning and further angering your fellow players in the process.







              share|improve this answer














              share|improve this answer



              share|improve this answer








              edited 10 hours ago









              Rubiksmoose

              50k7246378




              50k7246378










              answered 10 hours ago









              XiremaXirema

              16.6k248105




              16.6k248105

























                  7












                  $begingroup$

                  Tell the Players!



                  Your DM is making a mistake by hiding that you're possessed, and it's causing trouble for you, and, I suspect, causing the opposite effect of what they want.



                  The first part is obvious: the DM has put you in a position to do some cool roleplaying, but the rest of the party wasn't ready for this kind of thing to happen.
                  Campaigns where a character's actions might be influenced by things other than normal roleplaying need to establish this, in my experience. I DMed Out of the Abyss, which plays largely with the madness mechanic, and caused my players to develop all sorts of fun and weird quirks and flaws. But, I warned them that this might happen beforehand. The characters were unaware, but the players really enjoyed it.



                  The DM needs to stand up for you and explain what has happened, to preserve the peace, if nothing else. This will require everyone to properly commit to not metagaming off this information, but that should be standard at any table anyway.



                  The second part, though, is where I finally put my liberal arts degree to good use. The DM is going for surprise, but they're doing so at the expense of suspense. Alfred Hitchcock said it best in an interview with French film critic, François Truffaut:




                  There is a distinct difference between "suspense" and "surprise," and yet many pictures continually confuse the two. I'll explain what I mean.



                  We are now having a very innocent little chat. Let's suppose that there is a bomb underneath this table between us. Nothing happens, and then all of a sudden, "Boom!" There is an explosion. The public is surprised, but prior to this surprise, it has seen an absolutely ordinary scene, of no special consequence. Now, let us take a suspense situation. The bomb is underneath the table and the public knows it, probably because they have seen the anarchist place it there. The public is aware the bomb is going to explode at one o'clock and there is a clock in the decor. The public can see that it is a quarter to one. In these conditions, the same innocuous conversation becomes fascinating because the public is participating in the scene. The audience is longing to warn the characters on the screen: "You shouldn't be talking about such trivial matters. There is a bomb beneath you and it is about to explode!"



                  In the first case we have given the public fifteen seconds of surprise at the moment of the explosion. In the second we have provided them with fifteen minutes of suspense. The conclusion is that whenever possible the public must be informed. Except when the surprise is a twist, that is, when the unexpected ending is, in itself, the highlight of the story.




                  If the rest of the players know that there is a bomb under the table (a possessed party member), it gives everyone the chance to flex their roleplaying muscles, and can create some excellent suspense, instead of just a brief "gotcha!" moment, after however long the party spends being annoyed with you.



                  A Quick Caveat



                  All of this assumes that your table has a focus on collaborative storytelling rather than a curated, DM-told story. This will involve a lot of effort from everyone, but if everyone is willing to do it, I think this could be a really exciting twist.



                  What Can You Do?



                  Well, not a ton, if your DM isn't willing to listen. I'd send them the quote from Hitchcock, since he's got a bit more authority than me, a random poster with a Garfield icon. I'd emphasize the discord this is causing between the players, and that this tension may be hard to resolve. Send them a link to the problem-players tag on here, if they don't believe you; if there's no in-game explanation for this behavior, the number one piece of advice is to talk to the player, then have them leave. (Or advising the annoyed player to leave, if the DM won't deal with it.) You're not doing anything wrong, but the way it's perceived by your fellow players isn't going to end well. The party should feel betrayed by this, not the players.






                  share|improve this answer











                  $endgroup$













                  • $begingroup$
                    Where is that Hitchcock quote from? You should cite the source. :)
                    $endgroup$
                    – V2Blast
                    9 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @V2Blast I'll see if I can dig up the actual source, since I pulled it off an old college handout!
                    $endgroup$
                    – L.S. Cooper
                    9 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    This seems to originate from "Hitchcock" by Francois Truffaut. Great find!
                    $endgroup$
                    – madscientist159
                    7 hours ago








                  • 1




                    $begingroup$
                    @V2Blast It is from the book Hitchcock by François Truffaut, sometimes sold as Hitchcock/Truffaut.
                    $endgroup$
                    – MJ713
                    7 hours ago
















                  7












                  $begingroup$

                  Tell the Players!



                  Your DM is making a mistake by hiding that you're possessed, and it's causing trouble for you, and, I suspect, causing the opposite effect of what they want.



                  The first part is obvious: the DM has put you in a position to do some cool roleplaying, but the rest of the party wasn't ready for this kind of thing to happen.
                  Campaigns where a character's actions might be influenced by things other than normal roleplaying need to establish this, in my experience. I DMed Out of the Abyss, which plays largely with the madness mechanic, and caused my players to develop all sorts of fun and weird quirks and flaws. But, I warned them that this might happen beforehand. The characters were unaware, but the players really enjoyed it.



                  The DM needs to stand up for you and explain what has happened, to preserve the peace, if nothing else. This will require everyone to properly commit to not metagaming off this information, but that should be standard at any table anyway.



                  The second part, though, is where I finally put my liberal arts degree to good use. The DM is going for surprise, but they're doing so at the expense of suspense. Alfred Hitchcock said it best in an interview with French film critic, François Truffaut:




                  There is a distinct difference between "suspense" and "surprise," and yet many pictures continually confuse the two. I'll explain what I mean.



                  We are now having a very innocent little chat. Let's suppose that there is a bomb underneath this table between us. Nothing happens, and then all of a sudden, "Boom!" There is an explosion. The public is surprised, but prior to this surprise, it has seen an absolutely ordinary scene, of no special consequence. Now, let us take a suspense situation. The bomb is underneath the table and the public knows it, probably because they have seen the anarchist place it there. The public is aware the bomb is going to explode at one o'clock and there is a clock in the decor. The public can see that it is a quarter to one. In these conditions, the same innocuous conversation becomes fascinating because the public is participating in the scene. The audience is longing to warn the characters on the screen: "You shouldn't be talking about such trivial matters. There is a bomb beneath you and it is about to explode!"



                  In the first case we have given the public fifteen seconds of surprise at the moment of the explosion. In the second we have provided them with fifteen minutes of suspense. The conclusion is that whenever possible the public must be informed. Except when the surprise is a twist, that is, when the unexpected ending is, in itself, the highlight of the story.




                  If the rest of the players know that there is a bomb under the table (a possessed party member), it gives everyone the chance to flex their roleplaying muscles, and can create some excellent suspense, instead of just a brief "gotcha!" moment, after however long the party spends being annoyed with you.



                  A Quick Caveat



                  All of this assumes that your table has a focus on collaborative storytelling rather than a curated, DM-told story. This will involve a lot of effort from everyone, but if everyone is willing to do it, I think this could be a really exciting twist.



                  What Can You Do?



                  Well, not a ton, if your DM isn't willing to listen. I'd send them the quote from Hitchcock, since he's got a bit more authority than me, a random poster with a Garfield icon. I'd emphasize the discord this is causing between the players, and that this tension may be hard to resolve. Send them a link to the problem-players tag on here, if they don't believe you; if there's no in-game explanation for this behavior, the number one piece of advice is to talk to the player, then have them leave. (Or advising the annoyed player to leave, if the DM won't deal with it.) You're not doing anything wrong, but the way it's perceived by your fellow players isn't going to end well. The party should feel betrayed by this, not the players.






                  share|improve this answer











                  $endgroup$













                  • $begingroup$
                    Where is that Hitchcock quote from? You should cite the source. :)
                    $endgroup$
                    – V2Blast
                    9 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @V2Blast I'll see if I can dig up the actual source, since I pulled it off an old college handout!
                    $endgroup$
                    – L.S. Cooper
                    9 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    This seems to originate from "Hitchcock" by Francois Truffaut. Great find!
                    $endgroup$
                    – madscientist159
                    7 hours ago








                  • 1




                    $begingroup$
                    @V2Blast It is from the book Hitchcock by François Truffaut, sometimes sold as Hitchcock/Truffaut.
                    $endgroup$
                    – MJ713
                    7 hours ago














                  7












                  7








                  7





                  $begingroup$

                  Tell the Players!



                  Your DM is making a mistake by hiding that you're possessed, and it's causing trouble for you, and, I suspect, causing the opposite effect of what they want.



                  The first part is obvious: the DM has put you in a position to do some cool roleplaying, but the rest of the party wasn't ready for this kind of thing to happen.
                  Campaigns where a character's actions might be influenced by things other than normal roleplaying need to establish this, in my experience. I DMed Out of the Abyss, which plays largely with the madness mechanic, and caused my players to develop all sorts of fun and weird quirks and flaws. But, I warned them that this might happen beforehand. The characters were unaware, but the players really enjoyed it.



                  The DM needs to stand up for you and explain what has happened, to preserve the peace, if nothing else. This will require everyone to properly commit to not metagaming off this information, but that should be standard at any table anyway.



                  The second part, though, is where I finally put my liberal arts degree to good use. The DM is going for surprise, but they're doing so at the expense of suspense. Alfred Hitchcock said it best in an interview with French film critic, François Truffaut:




                  There is a distinct difference between "suspense" and "surprise," and yet many pictures continually confuse the two. I'll explain what I mean.



                  We are now having a very innocent little chat. Let's suppose that there is a bomb underneath this table between us. Nothing happens, and then all of a sudden, "Boom!" There is an explosion. The public is surprised, but prior to this surprise, it has seen an absolutely ordinary scene, of no special consequence. Now, let us take a suspense situation. The bomb is underneath the table and the public knows it, probably because they have seen the anarchist place it there. The public is aware the bomb is going to explode at one o'clock and there is a clock in the decor. The public can see that it is a quarter to one. In these conditions, the same innocuous conversation becomes fascinating because the public is participating in the scene. The audience is longing to warn the characters on the screen: "You shouldn't be talking about such trivial matters. There is a bomb beneath you and it is about to explode!"



                  In the first case we have given the public fifteen seconds of surprise at the moment of the explosion. In the second we have provided them with fifteen minutes of suspense. The conclusion is that whenever possible the public must be informed. Except when the surprise is a twist, that is, when the unexpected ending is, in itself, the highlight of the story.




                  If the rest of the players know that there is a bomb under the table (a possessed party member), it gives everyone the chance to flex their roleplaying muscles, and can create some excellent suspense, instead of just a brief "gotcha!" moment, after however long the party spends being annoyed with you.



                  A Quick Caveat



                  All of this assumes that your table has a focus on collaborative storytelling rather than a curated, DM-told story. This will involve a lot of effort from everyone, but if everyone is willing to do it, I think this could be a really exciting twist.



                  What Can You Do?



                  Well, not a ton, if your DM isn't willing to listen. I'd send them the quote from Hitchcock, since he's got a bit more authority than me, a random poster with a Garfield icon. I'd emphasize the discord this is causing between the players, and that this tension may be hard to resolve. Send them a link to the problem-players tag on here, if they don't believe you; if there's no in-game explanation for this behavior, the number one piece of advice is to talk to the player, then have them leave. (Or advising the annoyed player to leave, if the DM won't deal with it.) You're not doing anything wrong, but the way it's perceived by your fellow players isn't going to end well. The party should feel betrayed by this, not the players.






                  share|improve this answer











                  $endgroup$



                  Tell the Players!



                  Your DM is making a mistake by hiding that you're possessed, and it's causing trouble for you, and, I suspect, causing the opposite effect of what they want.



                  The first part is obvious: the DM has put you in a position to do some cool roleplaying, but the rest of the party wasn't ready for this kind of thing to happen.
                  Campaigns where a character's actions might be influenced by things other than normal roleplaying need to establish this, in my experience. I DMed Out of the Abyss, which plays largely with the madness mechanic, and caused my players to develop all sorts of fun and weird quirks and flaws. But, I warned them that this might happen beforehand. The characters were unaware, but the players really enjoyed it.



                  The DM needs to stand up for you and explain what has happened, to preserve the peace, if nothing else. This will require everyone to properly commit to not metagaming off this information, but that should be standard at any table anyway.



                  The second part, though, is where I finally put my liberal arts degree to good use. The DM is going for surprise, but they're doing so at the expense of suspense. Alfred Hitchcock said it best in an interview with French film critic, François Truffaut:




                  There is a distinct difference between "suspense" and "surprise," and yet many pictures continually confuse the two. I'll explain what I mean.



                  We are now having a very innocent little chat. Let's suppose that there is a bomb underneath this table between us. Nothing happens, and then all of a sudden, "Boom!" There is an explosion. The public is surprised, but prior to this surprise, it has seen an absolutely ordinary scene, of no special consequence. Now, let us take a suspense situation. The bomb is underneath the table and the public knows it, probably because they have seen the anarchist place it there. The public is aware the bomb is going to explode at one o'clock and there is a clock in the decor. The public can see that it is a quarter to one. In these conditions, the same innocuous conversation becomes fascinating because the public is participating in the scene. The audience is longing to warn the characters on the screen: "You shouldn't be talking about such trivial matters. There is a bomb beneath you and it is about to explode!"



                  In the first case we have given the public fifteen seconds of surprise at the moment of the explosion. In the second we have provided them with fifteen minutes of suspense. The conclusion is that whenever possible the public must be informed. Except when the surprise is a twist, that is, when the unexpected ending is, in itself, the highlight of the story.




                  If the rest of the players know that there is a bomb under the table (a possessed party member), it gives everyone the chance to flex their roleplaying muscles, and can create some excellent suspense, instead of just a brief "gotcha!" moment, after however long the party spends being annoyed with you.



                  A Quick Caveat



                  All of this assumes that your table has a focus on collaborative storytelling rather than a curated, DM-told story. This will involve a lot of effort from everyone, but if everyone is willing to do it, I think this could be a really exciting twist.



                  What Can You Do?



                  Well, not a ton, if your DM isn't willing to listen. I'd send them the quote from Hitchcock, since he's got a bit more authority than me, a random poster with a Garfield icon. I'd emphasize the discord this is causing between the players, and that this tension may be hard to resolve. Send them a link to the problem-players tag on here, if they don't believe you; if there's no in-game explanation for this behavior, the number one piece of advice is to talk to the player, then have them leave. (Or advising the annoyed player to leave, if the DM won't deal with it.) You're not doing anything wrong, but the way it's perceived by your fellow players isn't going to end well. The party should feel betrayed by this, not the players.







                  share|improve this answer














                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer








                  edited 9 hours ago

























                  answered 9 hours ago









                  L.S. CooperL.S. Cooper

                  3,3261128




                  3,3261128












                  • $begingroup$
                    Where is that Hitchcock quote from? You should cite the source. :)
                    $endgroup$
                    – V2Blast
                    9 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @V2Blast I'll see if I can dig up the actual source, since I pulled it off an old college handout!
                    $endgroup$
                    – L.S. Cooper
                    9 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    This seems to originate from "Hitchcock" by Francois Truffaut. Great find!
                    $endgroup$
                    – madscientist159
                    7 hours ago








                  • 1




                    $begingroup$
                    @V2Blast It is from the book Hitchcock by François Truffaut, sometimes sold as Hitchcock/Truffaut.
                    $endgroup$
                    – MJ713
                    7 hours ago


















                  • $begingroup$
                    Where is that Hitchcock quote from? You should cite the source. :)
                    $endgroup$
                    – V2Blast
                    9 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @V2Blast I'll see if I can dig up the actual source, since I pulled it off an old college handout!
                    $endgroup$
                    – L.S. Cooper
                    9 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    This seems to originate from "Hitchcock" by Francois Truffaut. Great find!
                    $endgroup$
                    – madscientist159
                    7 hours ago








                  • 1




                    $begingroup$
                    @V2Blast It is from the book Hitchcock by François Truffaut, sometimes sold as Hitchcock/Truffaut.
                    $endgroup$
                    – MJ713
                    7 hours ago
















                  $begingroup$
                  Where is that Hitchcock quote from? You should cite the source. :)
                  $endgroup$
                  – V2Blast
                  9 hours ago




                  $begingroup$
                  Where is that Hitchcock quote from? You should cite the source. :)
                  $endgroup$
                  – V2Blast
                  9 hours ago












                  $begingroup$
                  @V2Blast I'll see if I can dig up the actual source, since I pulled it off an old college handout!
                  $endgroup$
                  – L.S. Cooper
                  9 hours ago




                  $begingroup$
                  @V2Blast I'll see if I can dig up the actual source, since I pulled it off an old college handout!
                  $endgroup$
                  – L.S. Cooper
                  9 hours ago












                  $begingroup$
                  This seems to originate from "Hitchcock" by Francois Truffaut. Great find!
                  $endgroup$
                  – madscientist159
                  7 hours ago






                  $begingroup$
                  This seems to originate from "Hitchcock" by Francois Truffaut. Great find!
                  $endgroup$
                  – madscientist159
                  7 hours ago






                  1




                  1




                  $begingroup$
                  @V2Blast It is from the book Hitchcock by François Truffaut, sometimes sold as Hitchcock/Truffaut.
                  $endgroup$
                  – MJ713
                  7 hours ago




                  $begingroup$
                  @V2Blast It is from the book Hitchcock by François Truffaut, sometimes sold as Hitchcock/Truffaut.
                  $endgroup$
                  – MJ713
                  7 hours ago











                  5












                  $begingroup$

                  Your DM has put you in a bad spot and only they can fix it



                  Your DM has controlled your character and made you do things you normally wouldn't and that is causing friction in the party. The DM has told you that you are not allowed to tell the party anything about it. If you decide to follow this instruction your only way to get help is through the DM herself.



                  Talk to your DM again and make it clear that the position they are putting you in is bad for you as a person, and is putting significant friction between you and the other players.



                  The only real options for the DM are to drop hints or outright tell the party what is going on with your player or to just escalate/abandon the surprise reveal entirely.



                  DM should start by directly addressing the issue without revealing too much of the twist



                  Talk to your DM and be clear that you are very uncomfortable with the real-life consequences of her actions are for you. Ask her to please take the pressure off of you by telling the other players that you are doing this for a reason. For example, she could say "[Other players], please do not blame PiousVenom for their character's actions. I promise you that they are not doing it to spite the party and that there is a very good reason they are doing it." If that doesn't alleviate the issue then the DM should just straight-up tell the others what is going on.



                  If that doesn't work, the DM should tell the other players explicitly



                  If the players still aren't satisfied with that explanation, and are still upset with you as a player then the DM needs to just come out and tell people what is going on. Keeping a surprise is not worth causing interpersonal issues at the table and no story twist is worth putting one of your players through the wringer beyond what they are comfortable with. Thus, the DM should just tell the players that you are possessed, but ask them to please keep that information out of the game and to play as if they did not know.



                  DM could also accelerate the pace of the reveal



                  This is not a great option, but if the DM refuses to do either of the two above, it is better than nothing. The DM obviously has some sort of plan for this possession and presumably intends for it to be revealed to the other players at some point. You can request that they accelerate whatever plan they have so that the consequences on your are minimized and you don't have to be in this position for as long.



                  Talking is the most important thing for you to do



                  No matter what your DM decides, talk with them and then keep talking. If they decide something and it ends up not helping, talk with them again and ask them to try something else. Don't let it go until your issue is resolved and give them honest feedback.



                  At the very least, once the reveal happens there is no reason the players shouldn't trust you



                  In the case that the DM does nothing more to help you or that nothing they do helps (for whatever reason), you might be stuck in this unfortunate position for a while. However, assuming that you are able to break free eventually, the players should be understanding once you finally reveal the reason. Once they know that the DM was forcing you to do those things, any hostility they have for you should either go away or, at worst, be directed at your DM. Hopefully it doesn't come to this though.






                  share|improve this answer









                  $endgroup$









                  • 1




                    $begingroup$
                    I don't know about that last paragraph. At the very least, the player has shown a willingness to play along with the DM on this kind of thing. Who's to say the DM won't do it again?
                    $endgroup$
                    – T.E.D.
                    8 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @T.E.D. I'm not sure I understand what you mean here. Can you explain a bit more?
                    $endgroup$
                    – Rubiksmoose
                    8 hours ago












                  • $begingroup$
                    @Rubiksmoose PiousVenom would have been willing to play along with the possession and act against the party. Even being released from the possession, both the players and the characters they play are going to be on guard around the wizard in case she's possessed again. Broken trust is not necessarily a bad thing, and can make for a good redemption arc in the hands of a good DM.
                    $endgroup$
                    – Miles Bedinger
                    3 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @MilesBedinger they don't really have a choice though do they? It's either do what the DM says, disobey then or quit.
                    $endgroup$
                    – Rubiksmoose
                    2 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @Rubiksmoose But as you say, PiousVenom can choose to obey, disobey and deal with the consequences, or quit. By forcing a secret possession, the DM has forced the player to make a choice between obeying the DM and informing her fellow players.
                    $endgroup$
                    – Miles Bedinger
                    2 hours ago


















                  5












                  $begingroup$

                  Your DM has put you in a bad spot and only they can fix it



                  Your DM has controlled your character and made you do things you normally wouldn't and that is causing friction in the party. The DM has told you that you are not allowed to tell the party anything about it. If you decide to follow this instruction your only way to get help is through the DM herself.



                  Talk to your DM again and make it clear that the position they are putting you in is bad for you as a person, and is putting significant friction between you and the other players.



                  The only real options for the DM are to drop hints or outright tell the party what is going on with your player or to just escalate/abandon the surprise reveal entirely.



                  DM should start by directly addressing the issue without revealing too much of the twist



                  Talk to your DM and be clear that you are very uncomfortable with the real-life consequences of her actions are for you. Ask her to please take the pressure off of you by telling the other players that you are doing this for a reason. For example, she could say "[Other players], please do not blame PiousVenom for their character's actions. I promise you that they are not doing it to spite the party and that there is a very good reason they are doing it." If that doesn't alleviate the issue then the DM should just straight-up tell the others what is going on.



                  If that doesn't work, the DM should tell the other players explicitly



                  If the players still aren't satisfied with that explanation, and are still upset with you as a player then the DM needs to just come out and tell people what is going on. Keeping a surprise is not worth causing interpersonal issues at the table and no story twist is worth putting one of your players through the wringer beyond what they are comfortable with. Thus, the DM should just tell the players that you are possessed, but ask them to please keep that information out of the game and to play as if they did not know.



                  DM could also accelerate the pace of the reveal



                  This is not a great option, but if the DM refuses to do either of the two above, it is better than nothing. The DM obviously has some sort of plan for this possession and presumably intends for it to be revealed to the other players at some point. You can request that they accelerate whatever plan they have so that the consequences on your are minimized and you don't have to be in this position for as long.



                  Talking is the most important thing for you to do



                  No matter what your DM decides, talk with them and then keep talking. If they decide something and it ends up not helping, talk with them again and ask them to try something else. Don't let it go until your issue is resolved and give them honest feedback.



                  At the very least, once the reveal happens there is no reason the players shouldn't trust you



                  In the case that the DM does nothing more to help you or that nothing they do helps (for whatever reason), you might be stuck in this unfortunate position for a while. However, assuming that you are able to break free eventually, the players should be understanding once you finally reveal the reason. Once they know that the DM was forcing you to do those things, any hostility they have for you should either go away or, at worst, be directed at your DM. Hopefully it doesn't come to this though.






                  share|improve this answer









                  $endgroup$









                  • 1




                    $begingroup$
                    I don't know about that last paragraph. At the very least, the player has shown a willingness to play along with the DM on this kind of thing. Who's to say the DM won't do it again?
                    $endgroup$
                    – T.E.D.
                    8 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @T.E.D. I'm not sure I understand what you mean here. Can you explain a bit more?
                    $endgroup$
                    – Rubiksmoose
                    8 hours ago












                  • $begingroup$
                    @Rubiksmoose PiousVenom would have been willing to play along with the possession and act against the party. Even being released from the possession, both the players and the characters they play are going to be on guard around the wizard in case she's possessed again. Broken trust is not necessarily a bad thing, and can make for a good redemption arc in the hands of a good DM.
                    $endgroup$
                    – Miles Bedinger
                    3 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @MilesBedinger they don't really have a choice though do they? It's either do what the DM says, disobey then or quit.
                    $endgroup$
                    – Rubiksmoose
                    2 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @Rubiksmoose But as you say, PiousVenom can choose to obey, disobey and deal with the consequences, or quit. By forcing a secret possession, the DM has forced the player to make a choice between obeying the DM and informing her fellow players.
                    $endgroup$
                    – Miles Bedinger
                    2 hours ago
















                  5












                  5








                  5





                  $begingroup$

                  Your DM has put you in a bad spot and only they can fix it



                  Your DM has controlled your character and made you do things you normally wouldn't and that is causing friction in the party. The DM has told you that you are not allowed to tell the party anything about it. If you decide to follow this instruction your only way to get help is through the DM herself.



                  Talk to your DM again and make it clear that the position they are putting you in is bad for you as a person, and is putting significant friction between you and the other players.



                  The only real options for the DM are to drop hints or outright tell the party what is going on with your player or to just escalate/abandon the surprise reveal entirely.



                  DM should start by directly addressing the issue without revealing too much of the twist



                  Talk to your DM and be clear that you are very uncomfortable with the real-life consequences of her actions are for you. Ask her to please take the pressure off of you by telling the other players that you are doing this for a reason. For example, she could say "[Other players], please do not blame PiousVenom for their character's actions. I promise you that they are not doing it to spite the party and that there is a very good reason they are doing it." If that doesn't alleviate the issue then the DM should just straight-up tell the others what is going on.



                  If that doesn't work, the DM should tell the other players explicitly



                  If the players still aren't satisfied with that explanation, and are still upset with you as a player then the DM needs to just come out and tell people what is going on. Keeping a surprise is not worth causing interpersonal issues at the table and no story twist is worth putting one of your players through the wringer beyond what they are comfortable with. Thus, the DM should just tell the players that you are possessed, but ask them to please keep that information out of the game and to play as if they did not know.



                  DM could also accelerate the pace of the reveal



                  This is not a great option, but if the DM refuses to do either of the two above, it is better than nothing. The DM obviously has some sort of plan for this possession and presumably intends for it to be revealed to the other players at some point. You can request that they accelerate whatever plan they have so that the consequences on your are minimized and you don't have to be in this position for as long.



                  Talking is the most important thing for you to do



                  No matter what your DM decides, talk with them and then keep talking. If they decide something and it ends up not helping, talk with them again and ask them to try something else. Don't let it go until your issue is resolved and give them honest feedback.



                  At the very least, once the reveal happens there is no reason the players shouldn't trust you



                  In the case that the DM does nothing more to help you or that nothing they do helps (for whatever reason), you might be stuck in this unfortunate position for a while. However, assuming that you are able to break free eventually, the players should be understanding once you finally reveal the reason. Once they know that the DM was forcing you to do those things, any hostility they have for you should either go away or, at worst, be directed at your DM. Hopefully it doesn't come to this though.






                  share|improve this answer









                  $endgroup$



                  Your DM has put you in a bad spot and only they can fix it



                  Your DM has controlled your character and made you do things you normally wouldn't and that is causing friction in the party. The DM has told you that you are not allowed to tell the party anything about it. If you decide to follow this instruction your only way to get help is through the DM herself.



                  Talk to your DM again and make it clear that the position they are putting you in is bad for you as a person, and is putting significant friction between you and the other players.



                  The only real options for the DM are to drop hints or outright tell the party what is going on with your player or to just escalate/abandon the surprise reveal entirely.



                  DM should start by directly addressing the issue without revealing too much of the twist



                  Talk to your DM and be clear that you are very uncomfortable with the real-life consequences of her actions are for you. Ask her to please take the pressure off of you by telling the other players that you are doing this for a reason. For example, she could say "[Other players], please do not blame PiousVenom for their character's actions. I promise you that they are not doing it to spite the party and that there is a very good reason they are doing it." If that doesn't alleviate the issue then the DM should just straight-up tell the others what is going on.



                  If that doesn't work, the DM should tell the other players explicitly



                  If the players still aren't satisfied with that explanation, and are still upset with you as a player then the DM needs to just come out and tell people what is going on. Keeping a surprise is not worth causing interpersonal issues at the table and no story twist is worth putting one of your players through the wringer beyond what they are comfortable with. Thus, the DM should just tell the players that you are possessed, but ask them to please keep that information out of the game and to play as if they did not know.



                  DM could also accelerate the pace of the reveal



                  This is not a great option, but if the DM refuses to do either of the two above, it is better than nothing. The DM obviously has some sort of plan for this possession and presumably intends for it to be revealed to the other players at some point. You can request that they accelerate whatever plan they have so that the consequences on your are minimized and you don't have to be in this position for as long.



                  Talking is the most important thing for you to do



                  No matter what your DM decides, talk with them and then keep talking. If they decide something and it ends up not helping, talk with them again and ask them to try something else. Don't let it go until your issue is resolved and give them honest feedback.



                  At the very least, once the reveal happens there is no reason the players shouldn't trust you



                  In the case that the DM does nothing more to help you or that nothing they do helps (for whatever reason), you might be stuck in this unfortunate position for a while. However, assuming that you are able to break free eventually, the players should be understanding once you finally reveal the reason. Once they know that the DM was forcing you to do those things, any hostility they have for you should either go away or, at worst, be directed at your DM. Hopefully it doesn't come to this though.







                  share|improve this answer












                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer










                  answered 9 hours ago









                  RubiksmooseRubiksmoose

                  50k7246378




                  50k7246378








                  • 1




                    $begingroup$
                    I don't know about that last paragraph. At the very least, the player has shown a willingness to play along with the DM on this kind of thing. Who's to say the DM won't do it again?
                    $endgroup$
                    – T.E.D.
                    8 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @T.E.D. I'm not sure I understand what you mean here. Can you explain a bit more?
                    $endgroup$
                    – Rubiksmoose
                    8 hours ago












                  • $begingroup$
                    @Rubiksmoose PiousVenom would have been willing to play along with the possession and act against the party. Even being released from the possession, both the players and the characters they play are going to be on guard around the wizard in case she's possessed again. Broken trust is not necessarily a bad thing, and can make for a good redemption arc in the hands of a good DM.
                    $endgroup$
                    – Miles Bedinger
                    3 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @MilesBedinger they don't really have a choice though do they? It's either do what the DM says, disobey then or quit.
                    $endgroup$
                    – Rubiksmoose
                    2 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @Rubiksmoose But as you say, PiousVenom can choose to obey, disobey and deal with the consequences, or quit. By forcing a secret possession, the DM has forced the player to make a choice between obeying the DM and informing her fellow players.
                    $endgroup$
                    – Miles Bedinger
                    2 hours ago
















                  • 1




                    $begingroup$
                    I don't know about that last paragraph. At the very least, the player has shown a willingness to play along with the DM on this kind of thing. Who's to say the DM won't do it again?
                    $endgroup$
                    – T.E.D.
                    8 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @T.E.D. I'm not sure I understand what you mean here. Can you explain a bit more?
                    $endgroup$
                    – Rubiksmoose
                    8 hours ago












                  • $begingroup$
                    @Rubiksmoose PiousVenom would have been willing to play along with the possession and act against the party. Even being released from the possession, both the players and the characters they play are going to be on guard around the wizard in case she's possessed again. Broken trust is not necessarily a bad thing, and can make for a good redemption arc in the hands of a good DM.
                    $endgroup$
                    – Miles Bedinger
                    3 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @MilesBedinger they don't really have a choice though do they? It's either do what the DM says, disobey then or quit.
                    $endgroup$
                    – Rubiksmoose
                    2 hours ago










                  • $begingroup$
                    @Rubiksmoose But as you say, PiousVenom can choose to obey, disobey and deal with the consequences, or quit. By forcing a secret possession, the DM has forced the player to make a choice between obeying the DM and informing her fellow players.
                    $endgroup$
                    – Miles Bedinger
                    2 hours ago










                  1




                  1




                  $begingroup$
                  I don't know about that last paragraph. At the very least, the player has shown a willingness to play along with the DM on this kind of thing. Who's to say the DM won't do it again?
                  $endgroup$
                  – T.E.D.
                  8 hours ago




                  $begingroup$
                  I don't know about that last paragraph. At the very least, the player has shown a willingness to play along with the DM on this kind of thing. Who's to say the DM won't do it again?
                  $endgroup$
                  – T.E.D.
                  8 hours ago












                  $begingroup$
                  @T.E.D. I'm not sure I understand what you mean here. Can you explain a bit more?
                  $endgroup$
                  – Rubiksmoose
                  8 hours ago






                  $begingroup$
                  @T.E.D. I'm not sure I understand what you mean here. Can you explain a bit more?
                  $endgroup$
                  – Rubiksmoose
                  8 hours ago














                  $begingroup$
                  @Rubiksmoose PiousVenom would have been willing to play along with the possession and act against the party. Even being released from the possession, both the players and the characters they play are going to be on guard around the wizard in case she's possessed again. Broken trust is not necessarily a bad thing, and can make for a good redemption arc in the hands of a good DM.
                  $endgroup$
                  – Miles Bedinger
                  3 hours ago




                  $begingroup$
                  @Rubiksmoose PiousVenom would have been willing to play along with the possession and act against the party. Even being released from the possession, both the players and the characters they play are going to be on guard around the wizard in case she's possessed again. Broken trust is not necessarily a bad thing, and can make for a good redemption arc in the hands of a good DM.
                  $endgroup$
                  – Miles Bedinger
                  3 hours ago












                  $begingroup$
                  @MilesBedinger they don't really have a choice though do they? It's either do what the DM says, disobey then or quit.
                  $endgroup$
                  – Rubiksmoose
                  2 hours ago




                  $begingroup$
                  @MilesBedinger they don't really have a choice though do they? It's either do what the DM says, disobey then or quit.
                  $endgroup$
                  – Rubiksmoose
                  2 hours ago












                  $begingroup$
                  @Rubiksmoose But as you say, PiousVenom can choose to obey, disobey and deal with the consequences, or quit. By forcing a secret possession, the DM has forced the player to make a choice between obeying the DM and informing her fellow players.
                  $endgroup$
                  – Miles Bedinger
                  2 hours ago






                  $begingroup$
                  @Rubiksmoose But as you say, PiousVenom can choose to obey, disobey and deal with the consequences, or quit. By forcing a secret possession, the DM has forced the player to make a choice between obeying the DM and informing her fellow players.
                  $endgroup$
                  – Miles Bedinger
                  2 hours ago













                  1












                  $begingroup$

                  If the players are thinking you are domineering and obnoxious, instead of just roleplaying, that's a problem. This inability to see the difference between the person and the role is a serious problem that arises in DND games, and any places where an actor plays a role. A player plays a dumb barbarian and gets treated like an idiot away from the game. A player plays a lecherous bard and suddenly gets treated like a pervert outside of the game.



                  What went Wrong?



                  This is mostly the DM's fault in this situation. Introducing suspicion and intra-party conflict is a valuable tool in storytelling and immersion, but it relies on players being familiar enough with each other to be so immersed as to make assumptions about the players based on their characters.



                  Possession is also an effective tool, but it's taking away your ability to role-play how you like and risking the My Guy Syndrome. A good DM should only enforce a possession if the player is comfortable with it.



                  Addressing the issue



                  Ask the DM to address the group and remind everyone that there's a difference between the character and the player.



                  Apologize when your wizard does something you as a person normally wouldn't do. If you think something is a good idea, but your wizard would be against it, make it clear. You're not drawing a line between your wizard pre- and post-possession, you're drawing a line between you and your wizard.



                  You might look into talking with your DM about making a wisdom save at certain points to potentially send hints that you're not fully in control. Drawing symbols in your sleep, or fill a diary with the name of the spirit possessing you. Random nosebleeds or bloodshot eyes. Animals could get scared by you. There's plenty of movies about people being possessed and acting funny. Take some inspiration and work with your DM.



                  Maybe when your character is raised from zero HP, or enters a church, or some other spiritual situation, you can make a wisdom saving throw to give a less subtle hint. The person nearest you could make a perception check to see a flash of shadowy aura, or get a flash of a different face over yours, or you're constantly whispering the name of the spirit.






                  share|improve this answer











                  $endgroup$


















                    1












                    $begingroup$

                    If the players are thinking you are domineering and obnoxious, instead of just roleplaying, that's a problem. This inability to see the difference between the person and the role is a serious problem that arises in DND games, and any places where an actor plays a role. A player plays a dumb barbarian and gets treated like an idiot away from the game. A player plays a lecherous bard and suddenly gets treated like a pervert outside of the game.



                    What went Wrong?



                    This is mostly the DM's fault in this situation. Introducing suspicion and intra-party conflict is a valuable tool in storytelling and immersion, but it relies on players being familiar enough with each other to be so immersed as to make assumptions about the players based on their characters.



                    Possession is also an effective tool, but it's taking away your ability to role-play how you like and risking the My Guy Syndrome. A good DM should only enforce a possession if the player is comfortable with it.



                    Addressing the issue



                    Ask the DM to address the group and remind everyone that there's a difference between the character and the player.



                    Apologize when your wizard does something you as a person normally wouldn't do. If you think something is a good idea, but your wizard would be against it, make it clear. You're not drawing a line between your wizard pre- and post-possession, you're drawing a line between you and your wizard.



                    You might look into talking with your DM about making a wisdom save at certain points to potentially send hints that you're not fully in control. Drawing symbols in your sleep, or fill a diary with the name of the spirit possessing you. Random nosebleeds or bloodshot eyes. Animals could get scared by you. There's plenty of movies about people being possessed and acting funny. Take some inspiration and work with your DM.



                    Maybe when your character is raised from zero HP, or enters a church, or some other spiritual situation, you can make a wisdom saving throw to give a less subtle hint. The person nearest you could make a perception check to see a flash of shadowy aura, or get a flash of a different face over yours, or you're constantly whispering the name of the spirit.






                    share|improve this answer











                    $endgroup$
















                      1












                      1








                      1





                      $begingroup$

                      If the players are thinking you are domineering and obnoxious, instead of just roleplaying, that's a problem. This inability to see the difference between the person and the role is a serious problem that arises in DND games, and any places where an actor plays a role. A player plays a dumb barbarian and gets treated like an idiot away from the game. A player plays a lecherous bard and suddenly gets treated like a pervert outside of the game.



                      What went Wrong?



                      This is mostly the DM's fault in this situation. Introducing suspicion and intra-party conflict is a valuable tool in storytelling and immersion, but it relies on players being familiar enough with each other to be so immersed as to make assumptions about the players based on their characters.



                      Possession is also an effective tool, but it's taking away your ability to role-play how you like and risking the My Guy Syndrome. A good DM should only enforce a possession if the player is comfortable with it.



                      Addressing the issue



                      Ask the DM to address the group and remind everyone that there's a difference between the character and the player.



                      Apologize when your wizard does something you as a person normally wouldn't do. If you think something is a good idea, but your wizard would be against it, make it clear. You're not drawing a line between your wizard pre- and post-possession, you're drawing a line between you and your wizard.



                      You might look into talking with your DM about making a wisdom save at certain points to potentially send hints that you're not fully in control. Drawing symbols in your sleep, or fill a diary with the name of the spirit possessing you. Random nosebleeds or bloodshot eyes. Animals could get scared by you. There's plenty of movies about people being possessed and acting funny. Take some inspiration and work with your DM.



                      Maybe when your character is raised from zero HP, or enters a church, or some other spiritual situation, you can make a wisdom saving throw to give a less subtle hint. The person nearest you could make a perception check to see a flash of shadowy aura, or get a flash of a different face over yours, or you're constantly whispering the name of the spirit.






                      share|improve this answer











                      $endgroup$



                      If the players are thinking you are domineering and obnoxious, instead of just roleplaying, that's a problem. This inability to see the difference between the person and the role is a serious problem that arises in DND games, and any places where an actor plays a role. A player plays a dumb barbarian and gets treated like an idiot away from the game. A player plays a lecherous bard and suddenly gets treated like a pervert outside of the game.



                      What went Wrong?



                      This is mostly the DM's fault in this situation. Introducing suspicion and intra-party conflict is a valuable tool in storytelling and immersion, but it relies on players being familiar enough with each other to be so immersed as to make assumptions about the players based on their characters.



                      Possession is also an effective tool, but it's taking away your ability to role-play how you like and risking the My Guy Syndrome. A good DM should only enforce a possession if the player is comfortable with it.



                      Addressing the issue



                      Ask the DM to address the group and remind everyone that there's a difference between the character and the player.



                      Apologize when your wizard does something you as a person normally wouldn't do. If you think something is a good idea, but your wizard would be against it, make it clear. You're not drawing a line between your wizard pre- and post-possession, you're drawing a line between you and your wizard.



                      You might look into talking with your DM about making a wisdom save at certain points to potentially send hints that you're not fully in control. Drawing symbols in your sleep, or fill a diary with the name of the spirit possessing you. Random nosebleeds or bloodshot eyes. Animals could get scared by you. There's plenty of movies about people being possessed and acting funny. Take some inspiration and work with your DM.



                      Maybe when your character is raised from zero HP, or enters a church, or some other spiritual situation, you can make a wisdom saving throw to give a less subtle hint. The person nearest you could make a perception check to see a flash of shadowy aura, or get a flash of a different face over yours, or you're constantly whispering the name of the spirit.







                      share|improve this answer














                      share|improve this answer



                      share|improve this answer








                      edited 3 hours ago

























                      answered 3 hours ago









                      Miles BedingerMiles Bedinger

                      4646




                      4646























                          0












                          $begingroup$

                          You character is now an NPC




                          I can't tell them about the possession at the request of the DM.




                          If those are the conditions the DM has set, then you need to turn the character over to the DM and roll up another one. Propose that course of action to the DM. If they balk, then ask the DM point blank - "How long is this possession to last?"



                          If the answer is not a finite / brief time, then turn the PC over to the DM since it is now either a NPC or a GMPC. You are no longer in charge of the PC. Apparently, your fellow players are too thick to see what is going on, thus your fun suffers.



                          Roll up another character.



                          Sometimes, you have to call someone else's bluff. This seems to be such a time as regards your DM. That your fellow players do not 'get' what it is that is going on isn't something you can solve, and you have found out that they aren't the kind of group who will get that.



                          This answers what to do. Are you willing to let go? You have already lost agency as a player regarding this character. The choice is yours.






                          share|improve this answer











                          $endgroup$


















                            0












                            $begingroup$

                            You character is now an NPC




                            I can't tell them about the possession at the request of the DM.




                            If those are the conditions the DM has set, then you need to turn the character over to the DM and roll up another one. Propose that course of action to the DM. If they balk, then ask the DM point blank - "How long is this possession to last?"



                            If the answer is not a finite / brief time, then turn the PC over to the DM since it is now either a NPC or a GMPC. You are no longer in charge of the PC. Apparently, your fellow players are too thick to see what is going on, thus your fun suffers.



                            Roll up another character.



                            Sometimes, you have to call someone else's bluff. This seems to be such a time as regards your DM. That your fellow players do not 'get' what it is that is going on isn't something you can solve, and you have found out that they aren't the kind of group who will get that.



                            This answers what to do. Are you willing to let go? You have already lost agency as a player regarding this character. The choice is yours.






                            share|improve this answer











                            $endgroup$
















                              0












                              0








                              0





                              $begingroup$

                              You character is now an NPC




                              I can't tell them about the possession at the request of the DM.




                              If those are the conditions the DM has set, then you need to turn the character over to the DM and roll up another one. Propose that course of action to the DM. If they balk, then ask the DM point blank - "How long is this possession to last?"



                              If the answer is not a finite / brief time, then turn the PC over to the DM since it is now either a NPC or a GMPC. You are no longer in charge of the PC. Apparently, your fellow players are too thick to see what is going on, thus your fun suffers.



                              Roll up another character.



                              Sometimes, you have to call someone else's bluff. This seems to be such a time as regards your DM. That your fellow players do not 'get' what it is that is going on isn't something you can solve, and you have found out that they aren't the kind of group who will get that.



                              This answers what to do. Are you willing to let go? You have already lost agency as a player regarding this character. The choice is yours.






                              share|improve this answer











                              $endgroup$



                              You character is now an NPC




                              I can't tell them about the possession at the request of the DM.




                              If those are the conditions the DM has set, then you need to turn the character over to the DM and roll up another one. Propose that course of action to the DM. If they balk, then ask the DM point blank - "How long is this possession to last?"



                              If the answer is not a finite / brief time, then turn the PC over to the DM since it is now either a NPC or a GMPC. You are no longer in charge of the PC. Apparently, your fellow players are too thick to see what is going on, thus your fun suffers.



                              Roll up another character.



                              Sometimes, you have to call someone else's bluff. This seems to be such a time as regards your DM. That your fellow players do not 'get' what it is that is going on isn't something you can solve, and you have found out that they aren't the kind of group who will get that.



                              This answers what to do. Are you willing to let go? You have already lost agency as a player regarding this character. The choice is yours.







                              share|improve this answer














                              share|improve this answer



                              share|improve this answer








                              edited 2 hours ago

























                              answered 3 hours ago









                              KorvinStarmastKorvinStarmast

                              75.6k17237414




                              75.6k17237414























                                  0












                                  $begingroup$

                                  I agree with @KorvinStarmast, to a point. If this possession is long turn, your character is an NPC now. You are no longer guiding the character, but just following the DMs agenda.



                                  If it's short term, then it should not be an issue. But, there should be some hint that your character is "off" or "not himself". Something subtle, but enough for the others to see something is wrong. If such hints are there, any good player will pick up on it and see your not being a jerk, but furthering the plot.



                                  Talk to your DM and explain that the the players should not be completely in the dark, allowing them to discover that something is driving your character this way. Could make for some interesting role play.






                                  share|improve this answer








                                  New contributor




                                  CPR is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                                  Check out our Code of Conduct.






                                  $endgroup$


















                                    0












                                    $begingroup$

                                    I agree with @KorvinStarmast, to a point. If this possession is long turn, your character is an NPC now. You are no longer guiding the character, but just following the DMs agenda.



                                    If it's short term, then it should not be an issue. But, there should be some hint that your character is "off" or "not himself". Something subtle, but enough for the others to see something is wrong. If such hints are there, any good player will pick up on it and see your not being a jerk, but furthering the plot.



                                    Talk to your DM and explain that the the players should not be completely in the dark, allowing them to discover that something is driving your character this way. Could make for some interesting role play.






                                    share|improve this answer








                                    New contributor




                                    CPR is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                                    Check out our Code of Conduct.






                                    $endgroup$
















                                      0












                                      0








                                      0





                                      $begingroup$

                                      I agree with @KorvinStarmast, to a point. If this possession is long turn, your character is an NPC now. You are no longer guiding the character, but just following the DMs agenda.



                                      If it's short term, then it should not be an issue. But, there should be some hint that your character is "off" or "not himself". Something subtle, but enough for the others to see something is wrong. If such hints are there, any good player will pick up on it and see your not being a jerk, but furthering the plot.



                                      Talk to your DM and explain that the the players should not be completely in the dark, allowing them to discover that something is driving your character this way. Could make for some interesting role play.






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                                      $endgroup$



                                      I agree with @KorvinStarmast, to a point. If this possession is long turn, your character is an NPC now. You are no longer guiding the character, but just following the DMs agenda.



                                      If it's short term, then it should not be an issue. But, there should be some hint that your character is "off" or "not himself". Something subtle, but enough for the others to see something is wrong. If such hints are there, any good player will pick up on it and see your not being a jerk, but furthering the plot.



                                      Talk to your DM and explain that the the players should not be completely in the dark, allowing them to discover that something is driving your character this way. Could make for some interesting role play.







                                      share|improve this answer








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                                      answered 37 mins ago









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