Jtdcftul

Horses

They are smart enough to not crash themselves on others, even if their riders are completely drunk.

While the scenario painted may seem quite bizarre and downright deadly, the fact of the matter is, minimal traffic regulation does not necessarily mean you need to drive an Abrams Tank just to make it home from your downtown office park every day!

As a matter of fact, we in the Traffic Tabulation Bureau have conducted a comprehensively exhaustive study of various traffic patterns around the world and have come to the conclusion that, contrary to all expected laws of physics, a small motorcar is every bit as effective as a tank when it comes to negotiating the ebb and flow of every day Britopian traffic. We therefore recommend that Britopian Royal Commission for Travel encourage the use of diminutive, and above all, cute motorcars and furthermore, recommend an advertising scheme encouraging all Britopians to obtain at least one motorcar per adult per household and the use said motorcar for every conceivable use, from commuting to work, to long distance travel to going down to the shops or even everyday leisure drives. The more cars Britanopians place on the nation's motorways, the more crowded, and thus slower and safer, every Britanope shall be! (Cue patriotic music!)

And the reason is quite simple. Our Bureau have determined that a simple law of physics applies: the denser the traffic, the slower the flow. What this means is that, even when an entirely chaotic, semi-brownian, system is implemented, a much more organic flow is created. As you can see, it is quite possible for large lorries, busses, jeepneys, pedicabs, scooters, hand carts, random animals, pedestrians, rickshaws, trams and motorcars to interact quite safely at lower speeds. Sure, it may take you two hours to travel five miles, but the ride will be very manageable and very unlikely to cause major mishap.

Kindly review our Minimal Traffic Regulation test videos:

Cairo
Delhi
Manila
Addis Ababa

As you can see, every major jurisdiction that implements our system demonstrates how terribly effective it truly is!

Bikes. Although humans are not as smart as horses when it comes to not crashing against each other, bikes are cheaper to acquire and maintain, and will generally keep the streets clearer. Drivers can benefit from the exercise.

Also, this being about Britain, I had a certain song from Queen on my mind while typing this.

Bicycle races are coming your way

So forget all your duties oh yeah!

Fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today

So look out for those beauties oh yeah

It has to be a motorbike...

Having just been to the Philippines (and I imagine many southeast Asian and over populated areas are also like this), Motor bikes are everywhere and small enough to slip between cars, yet large enough that a car won't hit you because your going to damage it.

In particular, I would recommend a Dirt Bike because it has the capabilities for you to perform more stunts which would be great in making everyone in traffic hate you as you drive over their cars.

Firstly, there is no way a Car, Tank, truck or large vehicle would be able to win. While they can force their way through traffic, in dense enough traffic conditions they have to compete with other large vehicles of equal caliber. They will also face problems when turning and have slower acceleration times and speed limits since it takes them so long to accelerate up to speed and slow down (they can't go too fast or they won't be able to stop if they get cut off or make a turn).

For cars in particular you can image that they aren't really going to come out on top. Just go stare at some peak hour traffic and you will understand why.

Animals also aren't going to work well. Animals are smart enough to know how to get out of the way and vehicles could easily force an animale (horses mostly) into a very dangerous situation by slowly pushing up towards them or into the side of them to force their way out. Your horse will also be freaked out by the constant noise and honking. Thats also combined with the fact that a horse isn't going to work over larger distances or be nearly as fast as a normal vehicle and still simply stop walking when it needs to take a piss in the middle of the road.

So it comes down to our 2 wheeled friends, Bikes, scooters and Motor bikes. What about 3 wheeled vehicles? well they are larger than 2 wheeled vehicles which means in dense traffic conditions they will need to be more carefule and can't slip between the gaps a 2 wheeled vehicle will. In addition, most 3 wheeled vehicles end up being modified versions of 2 wheeled vehicles (I swear the only ones I've seen are basically bikes with an additional cart added or the back wheeled switched for two, or the unstable one that falls over from Mr Bean).

Scooters and Motor bikes push out Bicycles simply because they are motorized. They will be able to go faster for longer and while they might not be able to squeeze through the smallest of gaps, your going to be able to comfortably move 10KM, 50KM or 100KM easily on a motorbike when compared to a manual bike (There are no road rules, so bike lanes are basically lanes for any vehicle now).

So out of a Scooter and Motorbike, I would say scooter wins simply because its cheaper. It can make riskier moves because you don't need to worry as much about replacing/repairing it.

I still recommend a Dirt Bike, simply because people use it to perform stunts. You could for example, get yourself ontop of another vehicle and ride over it, or just sit there for the ride while it takes you to the location you want.

Since this is more or less Britain, I'd vote for the Challenger 2 MBT

It will simply roll over any "normal" automobile, leaving behind a trail of flattened Jags, Bentleys, Land Rovers, Beamers and Morris Minors.

EDIT - And the very occasional Robin Reliant.

Contrary to popular belief, more trafic laws makes roads less safe (1, 2). Many places are now reducing the amount of signs to make it safer, and to make sure that attention is on the road and other drivers rather than each other.

No rules is taking that to the extreme, but its not completely unimagineable. Ever been to India? I have and it's true: they do not pay attention to any markings on the road or any signs. The only rule they semi-follow is what side of the road they drive on, but whenever the traffic allows that rule is out of the window too. Strangely enough, driving there felt like one of the safest experiences I've had as people constantly communicate with horns and their movement, but I hadnt experienced a situation where there wasnt adequate time to react and safely get through.

So if a leftists leaves the house and he finds himself encountering rightists he'll join them for the time being, or vice versa. Any intersection that cannot be overseen will be slowly approached in case someone from another direction comes at you. Similar to small roads or similar people will decide on the spot who will pass first and who will move aside, or in this case chose who will temporarily change being a leftist or rightist.

In the end the best car isnt going to be the smallest or the biggest, it's going to be the most visible one with the clearest communication of direction and intent, possibly with a set of horns declaring "watchout", "you go ahead" and "I go ahead". So keep those lights on your car in good working order, strap in and drive safe.

(1) https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/feb/04/removal-road-markings-safer-fewer-accidents-drivers
(2) https://www.drivingtests.co.nz/resources/signage-clutter-what-is-it-and-how-is-it-reduced/

While someone has already mentioned a tank, its price tag puts it out of reach for the vast majority of the motoring public. The legions of unwashed plebs are Sempletons(pun fully intended) who require a far more economical option, so I present to you the Bob Semple "tank"

An "armoured" superstructure to protect from the chaos a total lack of traffic regulation would produce. Its cheap and shoddyhomemade nature allows for easy DIY fixing on the fly, rather than having to be sent to some workshop or depot. No murder? Remove all the guns or install dummies in their place then, to hang your laundry fromput the fear of God into all those other wankers. Last but not least, low speed and reliability for maximum obnoxiousness towards everyone behind you on the road.

The mythbusters have your answer, two of them actually.

The biggest problem you have is there's only so much space on the road and you are creating a perfect storm for traffic jams. The only way to guarantee getting from A to B is to be able to clear the road as you go.

the cow catcher serves the same purpose it did on trains, to push anything in front of them out of the way with the minimum energy.

Okay so this is based on real experience with a real place that was, in a way, very much like Mad Max - had no rules and plenty of danger...its still basically like that - and the vehicles we used (all of which but the MRAP have UK versions):

Option 1: HMMV (up-armored if possible)

"Speed is life, stopping is death" <- first words about driving in a combat zone I ever heard and they are true. As the rules state "you can't just shot or kill people" and cities (like London) would have very heavy foot, vehicle, and other traffic it seems to me that this would be a great option. One, it allows for "bumping" cars and other objects out of the way. Two, you don't have to kill people when hit with it (like a tank would likely do) Three, you can actually buy at least the un-armored version of this (and armor yourself if needed).

^{Note - that thread is from 2006, the video is real, and there are some opinionated anti-military answers within.}

Option 2: Country roads? Use a 7-ton

The 7-ton is my favorite option (when I was deployed) - fast, was nearly impossible to get stuck, could drive over ridiculous terrain, ford full rivers, and it goes on. Beside that this would allow you to safely drive a much larger crew (10-15 people vs. HMMV's 4-6) or a lot of equipment around. In this case it has an added bonus, though armored versions are restricted the actual military vehicles can be purchased and many parts if repairs are needed. Only downsides to HMMV - not as small and "bumping" something with these will cause more damage.

Option 3: MRAP

Okay, this is the last vehicle I have personal experience driving and it has one massive advantage - and that is, well...the picture explains it better than words can. This thing will not stop (without resorting to full on tank killer weapons). It is also now being offered to government (i.e. law enforcement) groups in the US so it is technically possible to get it but not really for civilians. Further, it has two huge disadvantages - its heavy and doesn't do well off-road. Why is heavy in bold? Cause these things had so much weight they would (and did a few times on me) collapse the road you were driving on. The V-shape made them get stuck on dunes and bad terrain a lot more than the earlier vehicles too. Still if the goal is an urban road and point A to B quickly and safely - they'd be an awesome option.

Option 4: Joint Light Tactical Vehicle

This one is "if I could pick any vehicle, money is not an option but it should still be car-ish". This thing was just a dream when I was in and only came out last year - so it is certainly not possible to get as a civilian (most military units are chomping at the bit to get a few). However, a few of the guys I know who still work in Green have gotten a chance to at least look at it and say it is like they took all the best parts of the 3 other options and built the car of the future. So if its dream money and wish scenario...

The question is describing a common situation in town fairs: bumper cars, or dodgems. A chaotic traffic situation, without traffic rules, sudden changes in general flow, etc...

It works, and to memory, it is less lethal than standard regulated traffic.

Apparently, in England, someone has already started thinking about taking the dodgem on the road. Also, for the skeptics, just remember that most of the UK can be considered flat compared to other European countries, hence no real terrain issues for these lovely little contraptions.

A self driving car, of course!

No need for rules, let the cars work it out between themselves automatically. Or they can automatically work out trajectories of human driven cars and route around them far faster and more efficiently than a human driver.

Planes/Helicopters/Gyrocopters.

You are not engaging with motorists then, creating your best chances for survival. An example in a similar vein is the 'Gyrocopter Captain' from Mad Max who avoids the drama on the ground in exactly this fashion.

Edit - added my comment into the answer.

Yes, you have multiple other road users on the ground meeleeing with each other, a character with some level of higher reasoning could take to the sky, however along with your dystopian road rules there's no reason you couldn't also stipulate that privately operated aircraft had to remain within a certain distance from standard road systems, thus creating manageable flight patterns. Clearly not everyone would be taking to the sky, and you can still land/taxi on roads.